What is tolerated in the dating phase will set the tone for the relationship. It has less to do with what you say and more to do with how you act and the boundary lines made known from the beginning. Ladies, the foundational principle in how a man learns to treat you has to do with your self-respect. If he has a problem with it, it might actually be a red-flag.
I often look at my husband Andrew with awe and wonder. And I have said to him many times: “I
wish you could see how I see you.” And that is one of prayers as well, that he know he is so
loved not just by me, but by our gracious God all the days of his life.
If you are thinking, “umm, what is she talking about…a God encounter?” I want you all to know that God still speaks to us today just like he did to the people you read about in the bible, it didn’t all of a sudden stop when the bible was published. We can have as much of Him and hear as clearly as we set our channels on His channel.
I held my breath and told God I trusted him as I made the painful call to break-up with my boyfriend. I was afraid and heart-broken, but the faith I had in God promises were worth it.
A couple of months ago I was idolizing this world in ways I never thought I would. I was
idolizing Godly relationships I saw because I wasn’t in one, I was idolizing un-Godly men because I
was unhappy with God’s timing for my “fairytale,” I was running away from Christ.
We are mislead into thinking, “If I give him what he wants, then I will feel validated and ultimately be loved.” But most of us probably know, this is entirely backwards and rarely works out for our good. Seeking approval from a guy in order to feel validated normally leads to us selling out and giving it up to the wrong guy or too soon.
Sometimes we get so caught up in the ‘doing’ that we miss the precious moments in which we can just ‘be’. There are so many boxes to check in order to validate our worth and purpose and existence.
One of my best friends told me once, “You’re kind of a control freak.” Embarrassingly enough, I have to admit there is some truth in that statement. I am a type A, oldest child and my natural tendency is to try to direct my life so it will go my way, on my timetable, and involve only the people who I want in it. My whole life, I have felt God chipping away at my stubborn, “I want it my way” nature, and the more He has broken me of it, the more cooperative I have become, but boy has it been a humbling process. I have realized more and more how that feeling of control is merely a false sense of security, rooted in my own selfish desires and ambitions.
believe that doing things to define your identity is completely out of order and leads to a culture that breeds competition and comparison where no where is ever fully happy or whole. There is so much animosity among women because everyone is striving to prove their worthiness and is afraid someone will steal it away from them. But whole women empower other women.
Now, first and foremost, you must understand than you can not healthily become someone’s “other half” until you yourself are whole. Many people think that a boyfriend or husband will complete them, making them feel worthy and beautiful. But the fact is, that puts a lot of unrealistic weight on a person’s shoulders, sets you up for disappointment and paves a path for unhealthy co-dependency.
