15 Year Old Commits Suicide: Should We Party Like It’s Our Last Night?

In Inspiration by Kristen Dalton Wolfe24 Comments

sheismore.com

sheismore.com

“Take my hand, I’ll show you the wild, side
Like it’s the last night of our lives (uh huh)
We’ll keep dancing ’till we die
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young.” ~Ke$ha

Lyrics like these are played everywhere and it creates a desensitization to the message. The message that says, “I will leave my reputation and conscience at the door and do things as if the consequences are irrelevant since tonight is the last night.” In addition to music lyrics, we are surrounded by magazine covers of teen moms and the downward spiral from drug use, crazy parties and arrests of young stars we admire. It somehow seems cool to go off the deep end or party the night away when it’s glorified in the media, especially when we don’t usually see the consequences that come from celebrity behavior.

But the fact is, there is a tomorrow. In the case of a 15 year old girl named Audrie, she got wasted at a party to the point of unconscienceness. Three teenage boys dragged her in a bedroom, took off her clothes, drew on her body with permanent marker, and then took cell phone photos as they sexually assaulted her. When she woke up the next morning, she had no recollection of what happened, only saw that she was naked and marker ink was covering her body. At school on Monday, her photos had surfaced on every student’s cell phone and was even being passed around on Facebook and even posted on websites. “I have a reputation for a night I don’t even remember and the whole school knows,” Audrie wrote in one Facebook message to a friend. She thought she was just partying the night away and the boys thought they were just playing a practical prank. They were acting like there is no tomorrow, no future to plan for and no consequences to consider. But the consequences were far more permanent than any drunk thrill or party prank.

Audrie committed suicide that week and the boys are each charged with sexual battery, dissemination and possession of child pornography. Tragically, a beautiful, talented, chosen daughter of God was lost due to falling victim to cyber-bullying and the aftermath of a night gone wrong.
To read more on this story, click here.

Audrie Pott

Audrie Pott

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12

As much as we see the message of living like it’s our last night everywhere, it is ultimately destructive. As God’s daughters, we are not called to live like it’s our last night. No, we are called to mentor, change, inspire and lead nations. (Matthew 28:19) And that great call starts now. You are worth holding yourself to a higher standard. It is easy to walk on the big, wide open path…that’s why so many people are there. But, greatness starts in walking the narrow path. “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matthew7:13-14. Why not be one of the few? The only thing stopping you is yourself and any weeds in your life. Here are 3 ways to be a world changer.

1. Lay Your Foundation:
The framework of your life determines how you handle adversity and unexpected detours. It is very difficult to produce good fruit when there isn’t a healthy soil. You can keep your soil healthy by seeking out and acting out the words of Jesus. That is the foundation that will keep you firmly rooted despite any trial or triumph you face. He says, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.” Matthew 7:24. If you are unsure of where to start in learning the word of God, a devotional bible or a study bible is a fantastic resource. Joyce Meyer has a great study bible that explains stories and concepts in understandable terms. Once you learn it, start living it out and applying principles to your every day life. The more you practice, the stronger you become. And the stronger you become, the smaller fears will become.

2. Plant Good Seeds:
The seeds you plant now will be the fruit you eat later. A decision you make is a seed. Many bad decisions are glaringly obvious, but what about in regard to your character? Do you choose to follow through on a commitment even when you don’t feel like it? Or do you flake, reschedule and cancel without regard to the other person’s schedule? Each decision has a by-product. The first choice would lead to strong relationships with people and a honorable reputation. The second does the exact opposite. “Don’t be misled–you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.” Galatians 6:7. If you have a dream, a goal or ambition, the decisions you make now matter. It is not too early to start.

3. Make Decisions Based On Facts:
If you are going to be a leader, you can’t lead based on your feelings alone, but on the never failing, ever strengthening Word of God. A leader is not limited to someone with an official title. A leader is someone who inspires, encourages and motivates others to be their best, to never give up and to never settle. A leader is someone who fights for justice on the behalf of those who can not stand up for themselves. As a leader, people you don’t even know are watching you. When someone provokes you with a hateful comment, you may want to lash back and make them wish they’d kept that comment to themselves. But the word says, “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.” Ecclesiastes 7:9. You may feel like you want to get wasted at that party tonight and you don’t care what anyone thinks anymore. But God says, “A good name is better than fine perfume.” Ecc.7:1.

You are too good, too fearfully made to waste your life away on a night getting wasted. You are above playing pranks on innocent people. I would imagine Audrie and the boys who assaulted her would say the same thing now. Tragically, she felt like it was too late to reverse the damage that was done to her name and her reputation. But, God can always redeem and restore any mistake we make or any injustice that has been done to us. He can always take our mess and turn it into a message. But he has also given us a handbook of wisdom from which to refer so we don’t have to go through self-induced sufferings. Choose today to be a light in your realm of influence, to take a stand for good and to be a world-changer that leaves a legacy.

Comments

  1. jack

    Know what is frustrating? Waiting for young women to get over their partying and popularity seeking phase and being willing to consider marriage.

    But… it is too enticing to put oneself in harm’s way playing with fire – the popular kids and the alpha males, with sorrowful outcomes.

    It is practically impossible to get young women to consider the Godly men, they are too busy thrill seeking and playing with the aforementioned fire.

    1. Gracie

      jack,
      This is true. However, there are many girls, myself included, who are thinking seriously about tomorrow and the days after, and are preparing ourselves to be godly wives for our future husbands. I know many young women who are taking the Word seriously and walking with God, saving themselves for the godly man they hope to one day meet.
      Be encouraged-there are many girls who are waiting for good guys. 🙂 You just have to know where to find them.

    2. Ileana

      As a young practising Catholic myself, I must agree with Gracie! For us young women it is as hard to find Godly men as it is for you men to find us, perhaps it is God’s way of ensuring we adequately mature before we find a relationship though. His time, not ours, is what I keep being reminded, I think we all need to keep that in mind about one thing or another.

  2. susan

    Lay off the woman bashing, Jack. It makes you seem jealous and insecure. This post was written to honor the memory of a young girl. Are you implying she deserved the treatment? What if this girl had been your sister or a friend? Shame on you! What are you doing a blog that is intended for females, anyways?

    1. jack

      If you think your comment chastened me even in the slightest, you would be incorrect. Your personal attack against me reads like every other angry comment on the internet, like they all come out of this big machine that calls people names.

      Some originality would be appreciated next time, really, you can do better.

      🙂

      1. susan

        Don’t blame women for your shortcomings. A “godly man” would be pursuing Jesus first, not on a women’s blog, searching for a girlfriends. Degrading women doesn’t help your cause. Get off the site.

  3. deenie

    Jack, when I was young and single we couldn’t find young men who wanted to settle down and get married. The young ladies in my church are college-educated and own their own homes and cars with stable jobs. I will say, though, that not many young folk of either sex want to settle down “early.” I was 28 and my husband was 33 before he decided he didn’t want to work at Kinko’s and go to bars every night for the rest of his life. Don’t know where you live, but maybe you should try looking in different places for a potential spouse.

  4. hannah

    Jack, it’s interesting that you blame women for your own failure to find a woman. Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought “Maybe it’s me? Maybe I’m too uptight and boring?”

  5. Houston

    Ladies, Jack is venting his frustrations and providing one point of view, not woman bashing. In no way is he suggesting she deserved any of this.

    The sad fact is that young woman made multiple bad decisions and a bunch of guys took advantage of that situation. It is what it is, but considering most of us reading this post and commenting didn’t know her and are trying to either learn something from this or hopefully provide some support to others, lets all calm down to discuss this without attacking anyone.

    As a single, sinful guy looking for a Godly woman, I can understand Jacks frustrations. He isn’t attacking you. He isn’t attacking women. He, and myself, were made to be joined with someone. I haven’t found my desire yet. I don’t know if Jack has. The point is, we should calmly and peacefully share thoughts and help guide each other to God.

    Just like all men are first boys, women are first girls. I could list a bunch of dumb phases I’ve gone through, but the point, I believe, Jack was trying to make is that all women go through a “jerk” phase. Yall are attracted to jerks and guys like me don’t have the strength to keep seeking out manhood. We see the jerks getting the girls so we follow suit. Eventually the girl see’s the errors of her ways and moves on the better guys. Then we are stuck as jerks and until God opens our eyes to that fact, we remain jerks.

    I don’t say that to imply its yalls fault that guys are jerk, but I haven’t talked about this with a lot of women and they’ve all admitted they went through that phase.

    I hope I haven’t offended anyone or thrown gas on a fire, but in this day of anonymity we can all quickly throw a response at someones comment without fully understanding where they are coming from or what they are trying to say. By God’s good will, one day we’ll have eyes to see the truth and worship His holy name with clean hands.

    ps – I hope he’s reading this for the same reason I am, to read what a Godly women reads and hopefully use that gained knowledge to know her better.

    1. Gracie

      Hey, thank you, your comment was encouraging.

      Keep fighting the good fight-walking with God isn’t easy-growing daily in your knowledge of Him is even harder.
      But it’s so worth it!

      We godly women are so thankful for you godly men.

  6. jack

    Unlike Hannah’s snide and adolescent attack against me, Houston gets my point.

    Over and over, I watched the women I would have treated honorably as they lined up to compete for the attention from the exciting and dangerous “bad boy” types.

    Okay, fine, that is what they wanted, so they choose to associate with those men.

    If you crawl over the fence at the zoo and start playing with the tigers, do you deserve to die? Of course not. But it is a foolish thing to do, and people have died doing it. You can hardly turn around without seeing stories like this everywhere. And the theme is always the same. “Poor young women gets exploited by bad men”.

    The part that most women are way too dishonest to ever talk about is that it is always the same kind of men. The same “jerks” players, popular kids, whatever. Over and over young women sacrifice their innocence, their bodies, and their love to try and compete in the tournament of winning “alpha male” attention.

    Hint: You’re not going to get treated like this at Bible camp.

    But, horror of horrors, that is where the boring “You’re like brother to me” guys are. Not the real tummy-butterfly inducing, exciting guys.

    So, many women will continue to sacrifice all in a shot at winning the tournament, and with the steady outcome of casualties. For the Christian, though, they should realize that God did not give us youth and sexuality to use as playthings and as a way to buy attention, but as a means of bonding in a Godly marriage.

    1. Gracie

      I think a lot of the woman’s drive to get involved with those men is the fact that she wants desperately to be given “love” and attention and doesn’t realize that that’s not the kind she needs.
      She doesn’t have a high enough standard because she’s never been given one from parents, guardians, peers, or whoever.
      She doesn’t know her worth because she’s taught day in and day out at school that she’s an animal, came from an ape, etc… dang, if I believed that crap, I’d act like an animal too.

      But we’re not. We’re humans created in God’s image to glorify him and know Him. And we, who know this to be true, need to build friendships with those who don’t, and enlighten them to the truth, so that they, too, might know the God King who is our Savior, friend and lover.

  7. jack

    By the way, I want to point out that I say the things I do even though there is a 100% chance that a bunch of women will come along and call me bitter, jealous, and whatever other language they use to try and chasten me or make me feel like loser or feel ashamed.

    So first of all, I want to thank hannah and that other girl for proving me right. I also would point out that such personal attacks are the words of people who realize they have no other rational point to make, and are therefore reducing the discussion to petty taunts.

    I’m sure you thought your jabs at me were some sort of revelatory statement, but they are really just a tiring harangue:

    http://exposingfeminism.wordpress.com/shaming-tactics/

    Recognize your comments in there? Like I said, your reply was robotic and unoriginal.

    1. Julie

      In regards to everything you have written- generalizations of women are no better than the petty attacks made on you. There is no sense in saying “women do this” or “women do that” because we are not all the same. I could easily say that “the only thing young guys want is sex and will go to whoever they can to get it.” In my experiences, I’ve found that to be true more often than not. However, it is not an all encompassing truth. It does not include EVERY guy.. Sooooooo! I don’t say it.

      Besides, if you’re chasing after a girl looking for bad things, you might want to consider who it is your are chasing after. Do you really want a woman that is like that? No matter what the reason is, whether it be her upbringing or insecurities that lead her to do that, what she wants is apart of who she is. If she wants a “bad boy” that does “bad things” then why are you even interested?

      1. jack

        I have to choose the from the wide selection of wounded souls in my age group.

        It is not a question of whether she has self-inflicted baggage, it is merely a choice of what kind of baggage I can tolerate.

        I would guess nearly all women go through a bad boy phase, with most of them sleeping with one or two of them at least. The hard part is waiting for them to be done with this phase so that they can grudgingly “settle” for a godly man with a future.

        I wish I could provide the sort of pathological thrills that captivate womens’ souls and inspire their affection. However, I am constrained by the fact that I have to live a Christian life.

        I can only imagine what it must be like to be one of their bad-boy lovers – I will always wonder who was the first person to introduce my future wife to sexual intimacy.

        Wish it could have been me, but she does not apparently think her husband deserves that honor.

        1. Gracie

          Jack, are you married? Or are you referring to your future wife? You say that you have to live a christian life. Do you feel some kind of obligation to be good? To be sexually pure until marriage, not lie, follow the ten commandments, etc? You feel constrained, you said, and so you end your comment with quite a hopeless sense….
          wow. I don’t know what you believe about salvation and God and heaven and hell and so forth, but what I know to be true Christianity does not leave the one who takes on that title honorably to feel constrained. To be constrained at all. I don’t sleep around, I don’t party hard, get drunk, smoke pot or whatever; but I don’t at all feel constrained, and I have a distinct, indescribable Hope in God and the future he’s promise to me that keeps me going, living.

          I don’t feel any obligation what so ever to do right. I simply do it because I desire to-because I love God and know it pleases Him when I obey his commands,. 1, 2 and 3 John talk all about this.

          I’m not bragging about my relationship with God or putting your faith down at all-I’m simply putting out there how it is with me and wondering if you might like to hear more- to find some freedom in your faith.

          If you do something with your hands but do not consent in your heart, it is as if you have not done it, in all honesty. And who, in truth, does not desire honesty?

          God doesn’t want us to obey him if we don’t desire to-if we don’t do it out of love.
          We’d be better off breaking every command then following them while our hearts envy those who break them.

          1. jack

            The first 15 years of grinding singleness were not all that bad. The last 5-8 have been wearying. Obedience often comes at great cost, and with no guarantee that you will ever receive any blessings for it.

            I was once very idealistic, just like you are. I pray that you will not have the experiences I have had.

            I am committed to my faith, but I mostly see it as a cost now. But a cost I must bear. Obedience is not always enjoyable. If it was, everyone would be doing it, right?

            You might be tempted to think that being principled is always a joy, but not necessarily so. It is easy not to steal bread when you are not hungry, or when your hunger is light.

            It is another matter to remain principled when you are weakened in the extreme. So too with sexual morality. Which is why it is difficult to watch the kind of woman that a man would otherwise marry handing over her intimacy to other men like a party favor. And then tell her future husband to “get over it already” or “you’re just insecure and jealous”.

            It would have been nice to be married and have a family, but that boat has sailed. And it sailed because of the type of behavior in the original post: young women treating dating and relationships as though it was a game, rather than serious business.

  8. Anonymous

    I would have a tendancy to agree with Deenie in that most young people don’t want to settle down early, regardless of how good they are. It may not be a good thing, but it seems to only be once people have their careers and responsibilities like owning a house, etc, that they realise life is not all roses and that it’s nicer to have someone to share it with.

    I think that most people aren’t as socially confident as they would like to be and as a result if a man steps up to the plate, some girls may be more than willing to give up their party going ways. Of course a godly youth is always a better start to marriage, but youth are often misguided, and often come to their senses a bit later on, hopefully without any devastating consequences, as the tragic story above shows.

  9. matthew

    I reckon if you have issues with a girl sleeping around before marriage then she’s probably not the best girl for you.

    For the record that’s my position too. It goes both ways. I don’t expect to marry a “good” girl if I’ve slept around and vice versa.

    Trust me, she’ll be worth the wait.

    1. jack

      I have “issues” when they want to rationalize it away, or justify it instead of repent and apologize for it.

      When people can own their sin and accept the damage it has caused, then it can be properly repented of.

  10. matthew

    Exactly. And that’s why a girl who has kept her chastity will be the best type of girl for both you and me when my time comes.

  11. Hope

    Isn’t this a good thing though? Isn’t she in Heaven now with Baby Jesus? Shouldn’t we all be excited to die?

    1. Ileana

      We should be happy to be parting for heaven, yes, if it’s our time. But no-one should be happy that such a life was terminated so abruptly… Life is sacred, and a blessing, it’s given by God, and no man has the right to take what was given by God.

      Also, the fifth commandment essentially forbids suicide, and according to this suicide is therefore a mortal sin.

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