Recently, my husband wrote 30 Characteristics of a Good Guy which has garnered a lot of attention. Readers have been asking if there is a list for women. After some thought, I came up with 23 qualities that make a girl stand out.
There is something intriguing and compelling about a girl who lights up every room she walks in. Is it her style? No. Is it her long flowing hair? No. Is it her flawless complexion? No. She is quietly confident and has a way of listening and engaging with people that disarms those with guards up and causes them to feel important. All eyes are on her, trying to put a finger on what makes her so radiant. The fact is, radiance is magnetic and when a group of radiant young women come together, they can inspire hearts, and do remarkable and lovely things.
She knows that her value is not defined by the opinions of people, but rather by who she is in the One who made her. When she looks into the mirror, she sees a reflection of God’s own image. There is no rare or glittering jewel or metal that could compare with her worth. On this she stands with confidence, never seeking for the approval of people because she has already been approved by God.
Her friends, family and God do not lack confidence or trust in her. She always follows through on a commitments, no matter how small it may seem.
She is a vessel of joy and kindness, like a healing medicine to the flesh and soul. People are excited when they see her coming and hate to see her go because she always brings life through her words and actions.
4. Work Ethic
She is not known for laziness; she works diligently. Even when the job seems less than ideal, she always works with a cheerful heart and a constant gratitude for the ability to work and provide. This way, her happiness is not contingent on circumstances alone.
Consistent good habits in her life like getting enough rest, proper nutrition, exercise, spending time in prayer and journaling reflects the commitment to take care of her over-all health. This enables her to care for the people and other priorities in her life more effectively.
She nurtures and cares for the needs of not only her family and friends, but those without their own families to lean on. She always seeks for ways to help someone and she does it. She treats everyone with the same love and respect, regardless of their social class.
7. Financially Savvy
She spends a little, gives a little and saves a little. In other words, she knows how to be balanced and treats herself appropriately after paying for the necessities. She blesses others because she has been blessed. She sees where profitable investments can be made and she saves her hard earned money for a rainy day. She is capable to live on her own and does not seek out a man to get her out of financial trouble.
She recognizes that her God-given gifts and abilities should not be taken for granted, but rather are quite profitable and for this she continually gives thanks. She joyfully refines her gifts and uses them strategically to inspire good things through them.
Whether it be at the soup kitchen or something as simple as walking the neighbor’s dog to help lighten their load, she knows that serving others makes the world go ’round. It blesses others, but blesses her even more so. She always sees where she can help someone and never turns a blind eye.
As His Princess, she is always aware that she could be impacting someone’s life. She holds herself to high standards for the way she dresses, speaks and behaves for the sake of her own honor and for the sake of those younger girls who are seeking a role-model. She does not allow temptations to have a foothold in her life.
Her foundation is solidly rooted in the Divine love of God, therefore she is not easily shaken. She is comforted in knowing that when she is faithful and thankful during trials and hardships, that she will safely come out of the storm even more prepared and sharpened for a spiritual promotion.
She welcomes the future in all of it’s unknown mystery. Even if she does feel afraid, she does what she has been called to do anyways. Being bold and courageous in the middle of fear has produced great victories throughout history. She always lets her faith be bigger than her fear.
She knows that as His royal daughter, the words she speaks comes with great responsibility and impact, even to those she does not know are listening. Therefore she is mindful in habitually only speaking words of wisdom and guidance. Therefore, all who encounter her will be blessed because of her. Gossip, slander, idle talk and negativity are strangers to her lips.
14. Centered in The True Love:
She fears (respects), honors and loves The Lord with all her heart, mind and soul. She knows that she can not be the radiant woman he destined her to be without centering her life around His peace.
In situations regarding business, friends or relationships, she is discerning in what seems to be a good thing and what is a God thing. She makes decisions based on prayer, guidance from mentors, and scripture.
She knows that pride and ego are the root of disaster or disappointment. She always allows other people to sing her praises rather than bragging on herself.
She counsels younger women with a good listening ear, a compassionate heart and a voice of truth. She inspires others to follow her vision through servant leadership and creativity.
She moderates her feelings, emotions and alcohol. She is not the girl passed out on the couch at a party, she is the girl picking her up and putting her to bed. She always thinks before she acts and looks before she leaps.
19. Stands for Justice
She speaks up for those who can not speak for themselves. She defends those who are defenseless and she has a heart for restoring justice.
She knows the liberating and healing power in revealing her struggles and shame. She is honest with those who mistreat her, letting them know that she only tolerates respect, just as she respects them.
She will confront a situation head-on in privacy. She does not allow conflict to build-up, rather clears it’s toxicity quickly.
She is humble hearted and wise in knowing that she will never know everything there is to know. She has a thirst for learning and growing, so she invites advice and sound counsel from solid mentors.
She is true to herself and always gives credit where credit is due. She cares greatly for her friends and never uses them for selfish reasons.
This list is primarily based on the Proverbs 31:10-31woman, the rest are supplemental wise words from the book of Proverbs. No woman is perfect and believe me, I am not all these things all the time. Only with the supernatural strength of the Holy Spirit coupled with being intentional can I muster up the confidence to rise higher and be radiant when I don’t feel like it. What would our character and lives look like if we purposefully applied these attributes? Start with one per day, you could even write yourself reminders in your phone or post-its on your mirror to remind you of the woman you can be if you want to be. You were born to stand out.
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