“Being female is a matter of birth, being a woman is a matter of age, but being a lady is a matter of choice.”
My mother raised me with the art of being a lady. I learned things like; how to set the table properly for many types of occasions, table manners, social etiquette, that white couldn’t be worn after Labor Day and that the color of my shoes should always match or be darker than the hem of my skirt.
I will admit that when I went off to college, lived in NYC and now Los Angeles, I drifted away from some of my lady-like ways, passing them off as old-fashioned and un-relatable.
But now, after doing research for SheisMore.com and being married to the truest gentleman, I have been intrigued to delve back into my lady-like roots. I have discovered being a lady is just the opposite of being repressive and old-fashioned, it actually makes life more fun!
What is more fun that being the best version of your feminine design and expressing with grace to the world?
Being a lady starts from the inside out. Once you are a lady on the inside, expressing lady-like etiquette and niceties becomes much easier to learn as it flows from second nature.
Try applying one of these to your life every day by speaking affirmations over yourself and making a commitment each morning. For guided encouragement, check out my devotional Rise Up, Princess: 60 Days to Revealing Your Royal Identity.
Here are 30 characteristics of a modern day lady:
1. She is gracious: A lady is never above thanking someone, no matter who or how small it seems. She is sincerely thankful and always expresses her gratitude in a meaningful way.
2. She is a leader: A lady sets the precedent in any given situation. She knows that she has influence and uses it to lead people to good.
3. She is steadfast: A lady is consistent across time and circumstances. When she makes a commitment to herself, she doesn’t allow pressure or trends to cause her to waver.
4. She promotes moral excellence: A lady does the right thing even when no one else is looking. She takes the time to find a trash can rather than leaving it on the sidewalk.
5. She is honest. She says what she means and means what she says. A lady is direct, never passive aggressive, she does not leave room for interpretation.
6. She is self-aware. A lady is aware of the experience others are having with her. She quickly realizes when she is in the wrong and needs to apologize to someone.
7. She thinks before she speaks: A lady takes a moment before speaking her mind to ask herself if the comment is necessary, kind or helpful. If it isn’t, she reconsiders making a reckless comment.
8. She is the best-version of herself: A lady doesn’t downplay her beauty, gifts or intelligence in order to please others or make people comfortable. She walks in the best version of herself which actually releases other women to do the same.
9. She is a thoughtful gift-giver: A lady gives gifts that shows the recipient that she cares about what they like. It doesn’t just have to be for special occasions.
10. She uses her words wisely. A lady refrains from gossip and negative talk, remembering that her words are the reflection of the content in her heart.
11. She represents herself with class and dignity on social media. She does her best to respond to comments and to always tag each person in her photos.
12. She is hospitable. Even if she doesn’t necessarily have the innate gift of hospitality, she does her best to ensure her guests or the people around her are comfortable.
13. She is temperate. A lady practices discipline and self-control with alcohol consumption, especially when she may be surrounded by those trying to abstain.
14. She draws boundaries. Being kind doesn’t mean you are a people pleaser. A lady has boundaries in place regarding what she will and will not allow and people know where the line is drawn usually without her saying anything.
15. She expresses genuine interest in others. A lady is interested, not interesting.
16. She is honoring: A lady always gives acknowledgment where acknowledgement is due. This includes reposting quotes or pictures on social media that did not originate with you.
17. She is original. She has role-models and mentors, but she never copies or compares. A lady knows that being inspired by God will lend to longevity and passion.
18. She knows when to let things go. A lady picks her battles and realizes that getting upset or flustered is actually giving her power away. She remains un-offended.
19. She is humble. A lady gracefully allows others to shine and have their moments.
20. She is adaptable. A lady knows how to navigate various social situations and settings with ease and confidence.
21. She is kind. A lady is inclusive, always aiming to protect anyone from feeling like an “outsider.”
22. She takes pride in her appearance at all times. Going to the grocery store on a Saturday is not an exception.
23. She cares properly for her hygiene and health. A lady knows she can not be dynamic in her purpose if she is not making her health a priority. She is also sure to have breath mints and deodorant in an effort to not be offensive.
24. She is always learning and remains teachable. A lady is constantly growing, is thirsty for wisdom and is never a “know it all.”
25. She is a generous listener. A lady listens to others with grace and does not attempt to overshadow the speaker with comments like, “Oh I’ve done that too” or “I already knew that” “I’ve been there before, you’re not telling me anything new!”
26. She is a peace-maker. A lady doesn’t contribute to dissension, discord or division among friends. She does not stir up drama. She is a vessel of mediation and peace.
27. She is noble. A lady does the good thing even when it is not expected of her. For example, she blesses someone’s reputation who has attempted to curse hers.
28. She is a seeker of truth: A lady is not spineless. She defends the truth even when it isn’t popular.
29. She has a heart for justice: A lady has a strong sense of right and wrong and is passionate to see the oppressed redeemed.
30. She believes in her Creator. A lady knows that her identity is rooted in her Maker. Her strength and vision come from daily prayer.
To read the men’s version of this article, here is: 30 Characteristics of a Good Guy