Dear Future Husband,
I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for ignoring you for twenty-three and a half years of my life. I’m sorry for not considering your needs before my own. I’m sorry for not thinking of you as I made decisions throughout my life. I’m sorry I continue to pretend you’ll never come along.
Although after you meet me, you’ll believe I’m perfect, I am not. This is just the first of many apologies I’ll be giving for the rest of my life. I’ll burn dinner. I’ll back the car into the garage door. I’ll forget to call when I’ll be home late. I’ll forget to say ‘I love you’ when you need it most. So again, I apologize.
I’ve been thinking about you so much lately. Where will we meet? When will it finally happen? Will I just know, or will it take time for me to warm up to you? Are you wondering these things right now, too? Probably not. The Superbowl is on, and you’re either watching it or sitting at a friend’s house eating pizza while waiting for the commercials. It’s okay, though. I promise not to hold that against you.
I hope you know how much I already love you. When you’re having a bad day, I hope you know that someone is already praying for you.
I thought I had already met you a time or two. But they didn’t have your smile, or the smell of your cologne and aftershave. I wish I knew you already so every time my heart broke, I would have known that God had something better in mind. But I don’t know you. And it broke. I hope you’re willing to do some major repair work, because I’ll need it. I’ll need you to show me that I can trust you. I’ll need you to help me rediscover who I am. I’ll need you to help me out of my past.
I spend a lot of time there. My past, I mean. I pray that when you do come along, I’m not so caught up in it that I miss out on you and everything that you are. I think about ‘what-ifs’ a lot. Don’t let me do that. Tell me, “Whatever happened is already done. You can let go.” Because I love you, I’ll believe you.
I promise that I’ll do the best I can for you. I’ll make your lunches, cook your dinner, do your laundry, and love our family with every fiber I have. I can’t wait to prove this to you time and time again. I’ll pray for you and with you. I’ll lift you up when your heart is broken. I’ll hold your hand when you reach out to me. And most of all, I’ll love you more and more every day.
Until we meet,
Your Future Wife
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