A Woman’s Worth: “She is worth far more than rubies.” Proverbs 31:10
Today, I received a phone call from my best friend. I listened as she cried; broken hearted no, not broken hearted no, she is completely broken. She is so broken to the point picking up the pieces is more painful than the brokenness. Listening to her explain about her boyfriend, life, health, and the like, in my head I start begging God to come in a save the day. As I start to tell her, she matters, she is beautiful and wonderful, I start to realize no amount of words I tell her will ever make her really feel like she is worth it. Nothing I say can convince her that she has value.
You see since she has been alive she has been told otherwise. Her dad left her when she just days old and hasn’t seen him since. The second father figure in her life- her stepfather, would physically, emotionally, and verbally abuse her as her mother stood by watching. As a child, she would try her best to be perfect, to never make a mistake, to never act out of line, miss a problem on a test, or get talk out of turn. Unfortunately, she is human, wasn’t perfect, and only a child. What was her reward? She would be cursed at, scream at, and beaten until she was what her parents thought she should be. As our friendship has grown through our countless conversations she has explained to me how, at age 6, she would have to carry bucket of water over her head for hours. If water would spill out of the bucket she would then be hit with whips across her back. After years of enduring this type of treatment she finally mustered up the courage to call the police. They removed her from her home and she moved in with her aunt.
After reading the first half I bet your beginning to think her life is on the up hill, right? Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case although her aunt was not physically abusive. Her aunt’s words were so emotionally taxing and draining that my friend was being abused all over again. Her aunt explained to her how her worth is through what type of men she could get to love her. If it wasn’t a rich man who would cater to her every need then she wasn’t valued or special. Her aunt would scrub her face with different types of chemicals to ensure she wouldn’t have acne and remain beautiful. If she did have acne her aunt would call her “pizza face”. Growing up, these were the types of things she had to endure to just name of a few.
In her lifetime, no one took the time to explain to her about inward beauty and how God views her. No one took the time to tell her she matters and is beautiful with or without acne. No one explained how she is special, and wonderfully created. No one took the time to teach her how she doesn’t need a man to be complete. No one told her not to date a man that won’t honor her and treat her with dignity. No one ever made her feel that she is accepted and loved for exactly who she is. Most importantly, no one ever told her that God made her, created her, loves her, accepts her, and knows her.
Fast forward to today…Listening to her to her talk about her life up to this point breaks my heart, cry, and I gently want to wrap her up in my arms and tell her its over everything will be ok. I want to tell her how sorry I am this has happened to her. Explain to her things are looking up. But you see I can’t because she is battling cancer. Oh and I forgot to mention, she has a boyfriend who lies, manipulates, hits, yells, and cheats. Seeing her life makes me want to just grab her and shield her from the world. At times, I wish we could just disappear to an island with no worries or cares and she would be healed and happy. I wish she could see all the things I see in her. I wish this time when I told her she matters, is important, and people love her she’d believe me. I wish that when I said, “leave him, he’s not going to change” she’d listen. I wish that when I tell her she beautiful, witty, funny, caring, loving, and giving she’d know. I wish she knew that she doesn’t need a man to complete her. Most importantly, I wish she believed in God’s love and plan for her life. I wish all these things for her.
So I guess at this point in the story you are wondering why am I writing this? You know, a part of me doesn’t even really know either. A large part of me is pleading with the FATHER’S to raise their daughters. Don’t leave it up to a fill in dad who may not be so nice or to no one at all. I have news for you dad’s, us WOMEN need our DAD’S so the girls can turn into women. We need our dad’s to teach us the kind of men we deserve and should attract. We need our dad’s to protect us, hug us, laugh with us, and mostly just love us. Most importantly, we simply NEED our DAD’s.
Another part of me, just wants you to write a comment about what you think beauty is. Write a comment about what you think love looks like. Write a comment of encouragement.
Another part of me wants all the deadbeat boyfriends to get a life! Grow up! Stop cheating, lying, manipulating, and abusing! Be a man; better yet be a gentleman, treat your lady with the upmost respect.
Another part of me, wants to let all the ladies know, YOU MATTER, YOU ARE IMPORTANT, and YOU ARE LOVED. Let your beauty radiate from your inner being. Know that you don’t need a man to complete you, and you are fabulous single! That is it is better too alone than miserable with the wrong person.
This is your life to create something incredible! DO IT! Take charge of your life.
If this message blessed you, be a blessing by sharing with others.