Four weeks ago, I thought our baby was coming…a transitional time for the next step in my life, Kris’s life, and our marriage. I didn’t want one sentiment to be overlooked. I needed Kris to know how I felt about him becoming a father. I decided to write him a letter and packed it in his hospital bag. Two days ago, we celebrated our princess’s birthday and this is what Kris read:
I love the way our love story has unfolded so heavenly. I absolutely love our marriage and the way we are partnered to do Kingdom work. You have changed my life and continue drawing out the beauty and gold in me. You never give up on me. You show me who Jesus is every day. You are kind, tender and gentle. You are powerful, strong, and unwavering.
One thing I don’t really understand about our culture is how the mother is given the showers and gifts. Maybe it started because people thought men didn’t want to be a part of it. Maybe it started because men weren’t being active fathers in their children’s lives because they didn’t know what to do. You and I both know how important the role of a healthy, loving, involved father is in a child’s life. We both value how a father can powerfully shape a daughter.
You get to emulate our Heavenly Father’s love here in the earth, in our family, to me and to our daughter.
I am so thankful that you are already so passionate about being a father in your calling and ministry. You are a spiritual father to so many boys and men already. You understand deep things of the heart and aren’t afraid to dig in, to talk things through with care, and to learn more about the mysteries of God.
A sentiment I remember clearly…I looked up to two girls. They were confident, mature, and secure in their femininity. Both of them wore rings their fathers had given them. When I asked about their rings, they told me, “My dad wanted to be the first man to give me an important piece of jewelry.” When I asked what they dreamed of in a husband, they said, “I want to marry someone just like my daddy.” I thought it was the coolest thing they had that relationship with their father and someone to model exactly what a husband should be and how they could expect to be treated.
I made a subconscious resolve in those conversations that my future daughter would be able to say the same thing about her father one day. I forgot about it until now…when we are about to meet her.
In my prayer time about her the other day, I saw her looking adoringly into your eyes. I saw you holding her and could sense the safety and love she felt in your strong, yet gentle embrace. I could sense the confidence your love and attention was infusing into her. I sensed that she had no problem understanding the concept of a loving, good, kind, attentive God because of you.
Pregnant mothers are given a lot of the attention, are asked all the questions and are tended to more because we carry the babies and deliver them. Those tasks are amazingly important and definitely should be valued and considered sacred. However, I want you to know how important you are in this transformation into parenthood. I want you to know I couldn’t and wouldn’t have done this with anyone else. You are the husband I dreamed of to walk the valleys and mountains of life with. If I could make a list of qualities to make a perfect father to a girl…it would be you. But as usual, you exceed them.
I need you more than ever. I need you to whisper sweet things in my ear during labor. I need you to notice everything I do well and tell me. Our daughter needs you to hold her, to speak life into her, and to teach her things about life and God that I can’t.
There are certain things only you can do. You are called, chosen, and anointed to be her father and I am honored to embark on this new chapter…and maybe even write a new book with you 🙂
I have changed and am a new woman since being with you. Our daughter is so blessed she gets to have all the gold and power you imparted into me from infancy. It makes me so excited to watch the girl and woman she blossoms into because of you and our unity in marriage.
It will be hard at times because I know I will be obsessed with our angel, but I will always choose you first…especially if you call me out 🙂 You are my greatest gift and treasure from God and I wouldn’t have our angel without you.
It’s crazy to think we are here at the point in our lives now. It’s crazy how life can truly feel like a blip and a blur if we don’t stay in the moment and notice everything God is doing. I’m starting to see for the first time what older adults mean when they say it feels life passed them by and they don’t know how they got where they are now.
I never want that to happen to us. I want to be so present and intentional with the gift of each other, our lives, our callings and our children. It’s weird to think we aren’t the children anymore. I’ve always felt that way when going home for holidays. But the moment our princess is born, we will be born as a mother and father too. I don’t want to lose our child-like wonder, our tenacity, and big dreams.
I pray I will always make you feel like the man you are: my protector, rock, leader, prince, and best friend.
I love you so much and I can’t wait to learn more about ourselves and each other in this exciting and new adventure.
The fairytale continues…we keep building on…we keep going strong…
I love you,
Stay tuned for her official announcement and my birth story!