I finally re-entered the dating world after having my heart stomped on last year. I had been on a date here and there since but it was always more of a rebound type rather than someone I could see myself settling down with. Now that I’ve reentered it, I’m ready to go running back out. Why, you might ask? Because men are cruel.
I met this guy, we’ll call him “Alex.” We completely hit it off, had everything in common, and for once a guy was telling me that church was important to him! Jackpot!! Guess what. Men can lie about religion pretty easily.
Come to find out while he was feeding me a story about being cheated on in the past and how loyal he was, he was actually seeing someone else on the side. When I asked when we could see each other again, Alex said I didn’t seem into him.
Really? Where did that come from?
Come to find out Alex was the one not into it. He was into another girl, which would have been totally fine if he had told me. When did men come up with the idea that lying is okay as long as we never find out about it? And not only did he lie, but he blamed our failure on me.
Now, none of you know me, but I’m kind of a Good Luck Chuck. Any man that I date marries the next girl he dates seriously. So, now I’m waiting for him to pop the question because I have no doubt they’ll end up married. But, the question always remains, “Why not me?”
I think as we watch people pair off over the years it’s a lingering question. Why not me? Why wasn’t I good enough? Why wasn’t I pretty enough? What does she have that I didn’t? I know I dwell on these questions without ever finding answers. Instead I find a pint of ice cream, a spoon, and a bag of Oreos. Obviously, these aren’t helpful.
Satan throws these questions at me knowing that I’ll lie to myself.
Why not me? I’m not a good enough person. I don’t deserve love.
Why wasn’t I good enough? Because every other girl has more to offer.
Why wasn’t I pretty enough? Because my face is crooked and my clothes aren’t the best.
What does she have that I didn’t? Amazing looks, a fit body, and a future planned out.
Now here’s where I need help. I know these are lies and I know God created us to be His princesses and He looks at us as royalty, but how do I get these thoughts completely out of my mind? How do I move forward when I fall back into the same patterns of the wrong guys and a pint of ice cream on a Friday night? How do I break the cycle?
I’m calling on my network of Christian women this time. We have to lean on each other, right?
If you related to this story, please share with others to create a network of women to lean on.