“When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he’s everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he’s not easy to spot; he’s really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair.” –Taylor Swift
Whether you love her or can’t stand her, the girl hit it spot on. So here’s a question for you: How do you decipher the good guys from the bad guys? Prince Charming and the bad guy start to seem so interchangeable that we can’t even see the difference. I’ve had bad guys come in on planes, nice trucks, and even a boat instead of a white horse. I’ve seen them with perfect matching clothes, jeans and a t-shirt, and swim trunks. These bad guys know all the moves. The say all the right things, look at you like you’re the only woman on the earth, and they make promises they have no intention of keeping. So Taylor Swift was right; no black capes on the bad guys anymore.
I want a fairy tale. I want the prince charming to ride up, sweep me off my feet and start a life with me. I even thought I had found him a few times, but they proved me wrong. How did they prove me wrong? With conversations that broke me down into nothing. With a smack here and there. With a horrible rumor spread at my expense. With ignoring me and bailing on me constantly. With leaving me crying in my car alone trying to figure out what I did wrong. None of this sounds like a fairy tale. None of this sounds like what God intended. So at the ripe old age of (almost) twenty-four, I look back on my life and I have nothing close to a fairy tale. Instead, I have all these short stories that took a piece of my heart each time they were written.
Here’s the problem we’re left with after the bad guys have taken hold: How do we fix a broken heart? How do we get all those pieces back and make them all stick? Well, we can’t. Instead our hearts reshape themselves into something new, something better. Love is the only thing that can build you up just as easily as it broke you down. Finding new love will never erase the scars left, but it can help transform our hearts into something beautiful and something worth sharing with another. My heart isn’t in great shape right now. I have to believe that’s why I’m struggling with loneliness and frustration. God is working on making my heart into a prize worth fighting for, and He’s doing it to yours too.
Next time you’re crying yourself to sleep, wondering where your prince might be, remember that your King is still working on you. He’s helping you become your best self to share with the one He created for you. And when you feel ready to look for your prince again, remember what the Bible says about the good guys. Here are just nine of the traits that the Bible lists of Good Guy Swag .
- Watchful, standing firm in faith (1 Corinthians 16)
- Strong (1 Corinthians 16)
- A model of good works, showing integrity and dignity (Titus 2)
- A meditator on the law of God (Psalm 1)
- Provider (1 Timothy 5)
- One who builds others up (Proverbs 27)
- One who puts away childish ways (1 Corinthians 13)
- Generous and just (Psalm 112)
- Loving (Ephesians 5)
When you find a man with these traits and your heart is ready, just let God work in your life. We’re His princesses and we have to keep faith that He’ll help us find our way in faith, life, and love.
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To become more discerning of what God desires for you, check out Kristen’s devotional: Rise Up, Princess