I’m 28, Educated & Unemployed

In Inspiration by Holly Roberts18 Comments

 

unemplyed

“Your lack of employment is not a result of a fragile economy. It is not a reflection of the connections you don’t have or an industry that is difficult to break into. 

 

You are unemployed because you are a failure. You, my dear, are unemployed because you possess no desirable characteristics. This is your fault.

 

Maybe it started with the school you chose for your bachelor’s degree. Your state’s flagship university is not good enough. A degree from there means nothing. You should have worked harder in high school. Yes, even that far back you should have recognized that you were a subpar human being. You should have gone to an Ivy League institution. People that went to Ivy League schools are worthy of jobs.

 

Did you have internships while at your measly university? I hope you had five or more. If you had any less then you weren’t showing initiative. Three is simply too few. People who had more internships are worthy of employment. You are not.

 

And that master’s degree? From another state flagship university? Your “ambition” is comical. Please, you should have known that no amount of hard work, publications, or extra degrees would make you worthy of a career. Only the people who have been truly gifted can excel in these types of circumstances. That is not you.

 

You have no gifts. You may have tried to convince yourself of talents, or even just interests, in order to get those degrees but if you really possessed skill in these areas, someone would have hired you. They can see that you weren’t cut out for any of this, they know your former experience in the industry did nothing for you, they know you were never meant to survive in the real world. If they can see how pathetic you are, why can’t you? Just stop trying to force this. You weren’t made to do this. Maybe you should be doing something else with your life. Maybe you have another gift…

 

Of course, it would be useless to try to find it. At this point, you can’t start over. Your resume already looks like a hodgepodged mess. It accurately reflects the inadequacy that is you. There is no point making it worse by trying to highlight more gifts you don’t possess. Just look at it. So you spent time abroad? It only means you can’t commit. It means you are flighty and full of foolish worldly attributes that make you undesirable. You were president of your sorority? Hahaha, this one is too easy! You must party constantly, be ditzy and are probably a slut. You are definitely not meant for corporate America. Do we need to continue down the rest of your horrid resume? You know it is full of ridiculousness and showcases your lack-luster life.

 

Can’t you see? Every single decision you have made up until this point has been wrong. Your universities were wrong, your jobs were wrong, your extracurriculars were wrong, your research was wrong, your references are wrong. Everything you have ever done has been wrong. You don’t deserve a job. How could you think that? In fact, this is the first time in your life that you are getting what you deserve. All those other high points were luck, they were an accident. They were an indication of God’s pity and sympathy at the mistake he created.

 

He shouldn’t have made you. You have no gifts. You have no purpose. You will never succeed at anything. You are an embarrassment to everyone who knows you.”

 

All of this is what Satan has been whispering into my heart. Through seven months, 79 job applications and zero interviews this is what I have heard. With the continual increase of credit card debt, student loan payments and rejection letters, I write this today utterly broken.

 

There are some days when I open my laptop hopeful. Hopeful that there will be an e-mail requesting an interview, or that a friend will have messaged saying they have just the right job for me, or that someone won’t ask if I’m still living with my parents as a 28-year-old. Some days, I can’t even do it. I can’t look for more jobs, I can’t even open my e-mail…because I know. I know that there is nothing there. There is no job for me and no one will ever hire me.

 

Some days, I even fight the urge to get out of bed and shower. It seems like such a ridiculous waste of energy—energy that I need to breathe in, breathe out, and continue counting my flaws. Those days I may go to bed at 8 p.m. because I simply don’t deserve to stay awake any longer. Other nights, I force myself to stay awake, I keep retyping on Google, Indeed, LinkedIn, and every other job search engine I can think of because I don’t deserve sleep. Sleep is for people who are tired from their jobs.

 

So where is God through all this? I would be lying if I said I didn’t ponder this. I keep reading about his plans, my steps, his purpose…the problem is that I don’t see any of it. I don’t see his plans, I can’t see that I’m taking any steps in any direction and his purpose because my existence is definitely lost on me. I’ve cried to him about it, I’ve gotten angry at him, I’ve even tried to bargain with him. I consider these all low points.

 

I recently watched a message about our fears. The speaker (Craig Groeschel) shared two profound sentences. “Outcome is God’s responsibility. Obedience is yours.” I’ve been dwelling on these words and feel that the answer is right there and it’s a simple one. I don’t know where God is in all this and I don’t have to. My job isn’t to assess where He is, but to assess where I am in seeking him.

 

So that’s what I’m doing. I’m waking up each day and simply living more like Christ. Love more, judge less, pray often, listen intently…and in my obedience, I will recognize that the outcome of all this chaos is ultimately his. Breathe in, breathe out, be obedient.

 

“Lord, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps. Discipline me, Lord, but only in due measure – not in your anger, or you will reduce me to nothing.” Jeremiah 10: 23-24

 

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Comments

  1. Charles Daeda

    Try Canada or other countries for work. US politics will not permit an economic recovery any time soon.

    1. Holly

      I’m so very glad you found it helpful, Jenn! Also, just so you know, you are a MAGNIFICENT writer and your blog is simply lovely!

  2. Ebony Arts

    Hi Holly,

    If you are still looking for a job, my husband has a resume business. He could take a look at your resume. He also has many connections that may be able to help you also.

    1. Holly

      Hello! I am still looking for a job and would absolutely value any resume input available! You can get to my digital resume by clicking my name and can download a copy of my formal resume from there. I would also be happy to e-mail it if that’s preferable. Thank you so very much!

  3. Meredith

    What type of job are you looking for? With a BA in Public Relations and an MA in Communications, I am guessing something in either of those fields. I work in corporate communications for a Fortune 100 company – it took blood, sweat, tears and several less than optimal jobs to get here, but it was worth it. I’d love to talk with you more about your job search. We don’t have any openings in our department now, but if something comes along I would be happy to let you know about it.

    1. Holly

      Hello Meredith,

      Yes, you called it! I’m looking for a job in PR/Communications. My graduate work focused on risk and crisis communication so I would love something in that industry but am also open to other opportunities. I would definitely value any advice or opinions you may have to offer and would appreciate a heads up on any jobs you may hear of! Thanks so much!

      [email protected]

  4. Sarah

    You must be writing my own diary for me! Wow – this is exactly how I feel! Like exactly.

    Thank you for sharing your story – you are not alone and now I know I am not either.

    And I am at the same place with God in this area of my life too – I know He’s there and He has a plan and I’m ok not knowing what the plan is and just trusting Him… but it can get so draining when NOTHING moves forward. I fill out application after application angrily (I’ve lost count but it’s close to 100 and only 1 interview that was later canceled?!), knowing I’ll never hear anything back, not even the courtesy of a rejection letter, it just seems futile.

    But He is faithful and He WILL guide me through his – as you said, I just need to pray and obey. Unemployment is an opportunity to believe in ourselves and grow in our faith – we are not just looking for a job, this is an opportunity to seek God.

    Let’s look forward to our first day at our new jobs the minute we sit down at our new desks and having that overwhelming sensation of being humbled by His love and saying a huge prayer of “THANKS GOD!” with a huge smile on our faces.

    Peace be with you.

  5. Charleen

    Thank you, thank you, thank you! I stumbled upon this post and it was definitely what I needed to read right now in my life! I moved across the country to be with my husband and have struggled to find work for 8 months now. This struggle has been such a test of faith as well as a test of my self-worth. I know God has a plan for me and that His hand is in my life each and every day, with or without a job. I felt His love so much as I read your words, so again, thank you!

  6. Reena

    Holly, I’m going through something similar. I was laid off from my job almost a year ago and am still looking for employment. I’ve had 9 interviews, but no job offers. This has also put my faith to the test. Most days, I’m okay, but then there are days when I want to cry and tell someone how scared I am. (Satan is something else, I’ll tell ya!) I pray that a wonderful opportunity comes your way soon, Holly. Thanks for sharing your story!

  7. Taylor

    Holly,

    You perfectly described what I feel like right now. I graduated from college in May with a degree in Marketing and every day I am getting more and more discouraged while trying to look for jobs, sending my resume, praying I get just one email back wanting to interview me. It is exhausting, to say the least.

    But God has a plan. Last week at church our pastor preached on Outcome vs. Obedience. It definitely put things in better perspective for me. Thank you for writing this. It is so encouraging to know that other people out there are who have similar struggles, but are looking to God for the path and not allowing Satan to keep us down.

  8. Elizabeth

    I went though exactly what you went through for about 10 months after I graduated with my Masters degree. I finally got a job listing from a friend and applied on a whim (I thought I wasn’t qualified enough). I am now about to celebrate my 1 year work anniversary. God does have a plan and we just have to put our trust in Him.

  9. Charita James

    Thank you so much for sharing this!! This really helped me that I am not the only 28 year old, educated, and unemployed woman around. Like you, I have had Satan say those ridiculous words to me and I listened. But you know what, Satan no longer has me. He cannot touch me because I have learned to obey and trust God. Though some days I am discouraged, I still keep my hope on Jesus. He will not fail us!! But the real blessing in this is that I have been able to spend more time with God and get to know him!! and you as well!! Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers!!

  10. Tiffany

    Holly,

    I thank you for writing this. I have my bachelors in marketing and my master’s in media and communication arts. After looking for entry level jobs for 9 months in marketing/PR and receiving only two interviews with no luck, I have wondered is it me ? This experience is teaching me to wait on God and understand he has full control. To all the women going through the job search, know our breakthrough is truly coming. Keep pushing, keep applying and never loose faith in him.

  11. Lorey

    Wow! This was an amazing read. Thank you! I feel the same. I’m 42 with two BS degrees and I was a teacher at one point but now I moved across the county to be with a very unsupportive significant other who thinks I should be happy making $10/hr. He says I think I’m better than everyone else. I said “I don’t think I’m better than anyone, I just think I could do better for myself”. Anyway, I’m glad I read your blog. It’s comforting to feel I’m not alone.

  12. christina

    Iam 28 today and in the same situation.
    Iam so glad i chanced upon this, outcome is his and obedience is ours to keep, Thank you for sharing. Iam encouraged to try just one more time!

  13. Anusha

    I am 28 and still struggling to build a career..its been His grace that I haven’t given up..still hopeful and praying that His will should be done no matter what..but there were tough and depressing times..times I thought would never pass by..

    Our God is great..amidst my storms I will sing to Him..for He never left me alone
    I thank God for you,I feel stronger in Christ

  14. josie

    I am 28 years old as well, I have been unemployed for 5years and at this point I am crawling in faith,thank you holly for sharing…

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