I’ve never written completely on my purity story. It’s a topic I’m asked to speak on a lot and am very passionate about. Recently, my husband Kris and I did an interview on TBN about our love story, sexual purity and whether or not we feel it blesses a marriage. I thought it was an interesting question to ask: Does sexual purity bless a marriage? It caused me to think. You can watch my thoughts in the clip at the end.
My purity quest began in the 7th grade. I dreamt to be a light for God. I asked Him to give me a big platform to direct eyes to Him…specifically the platform of Miss USA. My other dream was to marry a Prince Charming one day. I was raised on fairytales and Disney princess movies. I believed happily ever afters were possible for everyone with God.
Ultimately, making a decision to be sexually pure comes down to what you believe… about God and yourself. That decision is about believing in God’s best for your life, believing you are worth it and choosing to act as if you believe it.
There is a Bible verse that says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will watch over you and guide you.” Psalm 32:8. If we really believe He wants to give us His best, why would we take any distractions or detours?
With these dreams in my heart, I was in Bible study one night as a 12 year old. The topic was on being set apart as God’s child. At the time, I had short hair, braces, acne and was the new girl at school so I didn’t have friends. I didn’t know where I fit in at that point. But I had dreams in my heart and although no evidence made it seem they were possible at the time, I believed God had great plans for me. Plans that would require me to be focused on Him for years despite setback, adversity, loneliness and rejection. The question was: would I make the seeming sacrifice now to see the promise later?
That night, I decided to believe what God said about me rather than what the mirror reflected. I decided to make a vow that agrees with God’s Word that I am set apart for good works He has prepared in advance for me. I decided I didn’t want any distractions or detours to take me off God’s best path for me.
So that night, I wrote a letter to Him that said:
I promise I will never drink until I’m at least 21, I will never smoke, try drugs and I will save my sexual purity for marriage.”
I folded it up, put it in an envelope and addressed it to God. After that, it was a done deal. Absolutely no turning back. My resolve was final.
I remember people doubting for years I’d be able to stay true to it. When I went off to college, everyone I talked to said there was no way I’d get through one semester without giving in.
I never did. I paid the price and said goodbye to a “normal” social life. And don’t get me wrong, I had many lonely nights where I cried myself to sleep. But ultimately, I kept my eyes on the goal. I wanted to be a Miss USA one day who could tell other girls they could do it too. I wanted to stay the course and show other women they don’t have to do what’s cool, or normal to earn love or acceptance that only leads to emptiness and regret.
What kind of woman do you want to be?
We are not meant to do what’s cool, normal and acceptable. If we did that, we wouldn’t be the salt and light of the world like we are called to be. We are called to be in the world, but not of it.
You are set apart for good works, too. God has great plans for your life. He is waiting for you to stop filling your cup with counterfeits that leave you insatiable and empty. He is waiting for you to turn to Him and His precepts that give you life and a life in abundance that overflows.
His mercies are new every morning, every moment of the day. Despite past decisions, you can have a new start at any point with a sincere, repentant heart. If you’re ready for the love of Jesus to fill you to overflow, mending your broken heart and giving you a fresh vision, that is available to you right now.
All you have to do is talk to Him. Invite Him to show you what is separating you from the fullest relationship with Him and the best path He wants to take you.
You can decide today to believe you are set apart, that He wants to give you His best and you are worthy and able to live like it.
Please share if this blesses you.