Overcoming Cheating and Shame

In Inspiration by Kristen Dalton Wolfe1 Comment

Overcoming Cheating and Shame

Overcoming Cheating and Shame

A woman who had been cheated on by her husband had a revelation one day. He had broken their covenant once and she had forgiven him hoping to reconcile their intimacy and trust. But, she was baffled when she discovered more incriminating incidents even after they had rekindled a new-found passion and what seemed to be momentous healing between them. Then, one night she heard a speaker say, “people repeat the same harmful behavior out of their own shame.” It struck her that she had not allowed her husband to move past the affairs.  Although she had forgiven him, she still reminded him of the damage he had done and realized she was holding his shameful infidelity over his head. His mind and spirit still taunted him saying, “You’re nothing but a lying cheater.” This belief caused him to question his identity in Christ.

The same thing happens to people who get out of prison or girls who are rescued from sex trafficking. A high percentage return to their previous life because they do not believe they deserve a life of decency. They believe they are nothing but damaged goods. Agreeing with this belief scores another win for the dark side. He uses our mistakes as a gateway in to our thought life. Shame is the aftermath of our mistakes or an injustice done to us, and shame is what Satan uses to keep us in that dark place. But He is the Father of Lies and shame is a lie. God is the opposite of lies. He is the God of Truth & Light. He is everything good, lovely and admirable. Everything God created is good (1 Timothy 4:4). He is the One and only Creator.

As a matter of fact, the devil doesn’t have the ability to create anything, so he wants to wreck God’s creation with destruction. You were made excellent, noble and beautiful… but the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. Why do we so willingly empower the one who doesn’t even create anything…the one who is the Destructor of all things beautiful?

You don’t have to partner with the enemy anymore in self-destruction. You can choose to break off shame right now by forgiving yourself and saying yes to the freedom God has waiting for you. When we ask God whole-heartedly for forgiveness, He always forgives. “For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.” Hebrews 8:12. God sent Jesus so we could have freedom and access to a clean slate through faith. “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” Galatians 2:20.

It is never too late for renewal when you have the power of God partnered with your power of choice. But, now that you know this, there isn’t enough precious time left to continue punishing yourself. Besides, punishing ourselves is the easy way out because it allows us to settle for the pitiful work of the Destructor. As we saw earlier, destruction is easier than creation. Getting true redemption from your past is partnering with The Creator to co-author your life’s masterpiece.

If you are in agreement with the concept of having access to forgiveness and freedom, and if you know you are made for more than the life you’re living, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW.  Close the chapter to living out of shame. It doesn’t matter what you have done, God says you can be made new in Him. Don’t be another number in Satan’s book of stolen lives. Choose today to start living how you know you are destined to in your heart of hearts.

Prayer: Jesus, please forgive me for my mistakes. Please forgive me for allowing shame to steal the delightful life you have for me. I invite you right now to renew my mind with your Truth, wash me with the Spirit of your love. I ask for your strength to enable me to create beauty through you, goodness and life with you when I want to retreat back to the familiarity of destruction and shame. I thank you that you never leave me and that I am made new in Christ.

Declaration: I do not allow my past to define me. I  am in complete control of my behavior and I choose to act now. I am a precious, good and purposeful Creation. I partner with God’s beliefs about me and I live in freedom, truth, and light.



  1. Powerful message. Thank you for sharing. I’m destined for great things and refuse to allow the enemy to take control of my thoughts.

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