Rejected and Left Out

How To Feel Secure In The Face of Rejection

In Inspiration by Kristen Dalton WolfeLeave a Comment

Have you ever felt insecure walking in a room full of people? I have. I had the chance to sit down with best-selling author and President of Proverbs 31 Ministries, Lysa Terkeurst to talk about how to own any room you walk in, even in the face of rejection.

Triggers from past rejection and fearing future rejection prevent us from living a full life, which she covers in her most recent book, Uninvited. I’d seen Uninvited all over my instagram feed for a while, but it took me a while to take the plunge and finally order it. When I saw it was about rejection, I thought “I don’t need a book on this, I’ve already overcome and healed my rejection issues.” But when I started reading, I realized I still needed some fresh wisdom on the topic. Keep reading and you’ll find our video is at the end of the article.


Rejection is an issue a lot women and men struggle with, regardless of what our outside achievements looks like. As Lysa says, outside achievements don’t heal inside hurts.

Even after I won Miss USA, which I thought would give me the ultimate validation to feel confident, I still struggled with past wounds that affected the way I dealt certain social situations.

The thing is, it doesn’t matter what we accomplish or how far up the ladder we climb. None of our titles or accolades will fill the holes that relationships have dug. We will never be free from experiencing rejection, no matter how cool or how many followers we gain. Whether we are dealing with a past hurt, a current rejection or fearing being forgotten, rejection is something that affects everyone. Even Jesus, the most perfect person on the planet was brutally and notoriously rejected, especially in moments he needed people the most.

The only way we can completely heal and face the rejection reality is to live loved in the face of being left out, less than and lonely. Here are some power packed truths from Uninvited and my own journey:

  1. As God’s daughter, you have everything within you to overflow with confidence and to be the one to approach another making them feel at ease. You don’t have to be the one to wait for others to speak to you.
  2. Be aware when you feel intimidated by or inferior to someone. That’s an immediate sign you are fearing them more than you fear God. Fearing people places people on the throne God belongs on, which is ultimately idolatry.
  3. You are completely full with the fullness of God’s love for you. If you don’t feel that or fully know it, it’s time to seek Him more, first, longer and deeper. There is absolutely nothing that can come close to filling us up the way God’s liquid love does.
  4. Imagine yourself as a cup and God is pouring out heartwarming, liquid love into from His heart. When you are full of the best stuff, there is no void for a person to fill. Instead, this places you in a position to pour into others.
  5. Greater is he who is in me than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4. If God is for you, no one can successfully be against you in the end.
  6. Our neediness is actually greediness. When we are looking for someone else to fill us up, to invite us in, to call us over, we are selling ourselves and others short.

You have what it takes to usher in an atmosphere of God’s love, joy and peace. It’s time to stop waiting to be invited in and validated by the world. Instead, let’s bring the healing oil of our security in Christ’s love that can never be shaken and pour it out into others.

If you are going through a situation where you feel left out, less than and lonely, you are not alone. I have been there a million times. As a matter fact, I’d say it was the main theme for about nine years of my life. When you go through suffering or any trials, you are sharing in Christ’s suffering. The good news is, when you handle it righteously, you will also share in His glory.

Check out my conversation with Lysa in my video below.

Be a blessing and share with others!

Leave a Comment