Relationships 101: How To Naturally Be a 10

In Love by Kristen Dalton Wolfe5 Comments


Before you can even begin to think about meeting your dream man and having a healthy, loving relationship, ¬†take a look at the relationship with yourself. The relationship with you is the most important one you will ever have aside from the one with God. The reason is because you are with yourself non-stop, all the time, when you wake up in the morning and go to bed at night, 24-7. There is no getting away from your thoughts, you hear everything you say and think. Therefore, it’s crucial to be aware of how you are treating yourself and what your thought life looks like. If you want to attract a dream man, you gotta be a dream girl. No one determines your worth other than you and the King of the Universe.

Yesterday, we talked about how a man should treat a woman, like a treasure, respectfully and lovingly. You do deserve and should expect a great love story to unfold. But on the same token, you attract who you are. In psychology, there is a theory that states, “birds of a feather flock together.” Also through the Law of Attraction, we can conclude that if we want to attract a 10, we gotta be a 10.

So what does that look like? It sounds like a lot of work and you have to do a bunch of work and achieve accomplishments in order to create that perfect 10 list. But I believe that doing things to define your identity is completely out of order and leads to a culture that breeds competition and comparison where no where is ever fully happy or whole. There is so much animosity among women because everyone is striving to prove their worthiness and is afraid someone will steal it away from them. But whole women empower other women.

As Christians, we get to live our lives on another level. Because we are a chosen daughter of the King, that makes us royalty and princesses. Consider this, princesses don’t walk around the kingdom putting on grand performances in order to convince everyone that she is royalty. Everyone already knows who she is. Instead, she gets to rest in her royal identity, in the favor of her King and therefore allow beauty, strength and dignity flow effortlessly through her. A princess is heaven minded. A princess empowers people simply by being. You were made to be a princess. Will you choose that path?

Maybe you have some false narratives in your life that you have been validating over and over again leading to a cycle of self-sabotage and depression. Today is the day to turn away from those stories that have been defining your life that aren’t from God. Today, change your mind and set it on the truth that you Royalty. You are a princess. What is the point of Christ if you keep living in your old, debilitating ways?

Take your life back, the one God destined and planned for you. Stop being your own stumbling block and blaming circumstances, genetics and the past. It’s time to say thank you to your past for shaping you in a strong woman. For giving your messes that are now your messages. As a princess, you will naturally see where you can bring justice and restoration to other people who can relate to your story.

Remember, no more striving to define or prove your worthiness. You are the gift. You are the treasure. You are a blessing that blesses others. When you believe this truth, you will effortlessly walk in it.

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  1. This is transformative. Thanks so much for sharing this videos that challenge me to think differently about my identity in God!

  2. This passage is exactly what I needed to hear! We have an amazing God. Wonderfully spoken. God Bless

  3. This message was extremely inspiring and uplifting. It is also encouraging to know that even if we are not in a romantic relationship, we still get to feel pursued, adored and appreciated by God. Thanks Kristen!

  4. I needed this. It feels like I’ve been running in circles trying to be the proverbs 31 woman. Cleaning everything until its spotless, trying to cook, sewing, overall just trying to make sure that everything is perfect. Which I know isn’t a bad thing, but its so exhausting. This post was like a fresh breath of air. I simply needed to take a step back. I praise God for the way he works! <3

  5. Kristen,

    I have listened to this video close to 50 times so far because I am so determined to get this through my think head. Ha. I absolutely resonate with what you are saying here. This is great! Thank you so much for putting this information out. It really is a breath of fresh air! Bless you!

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