Relationships 101: The First Key to Attracting Love

In Love by Kristen Dalton Wolfe2 Comments


My husband, Kris and I are the speakers for Relationships 101, a conference at ┬áMissouri State University in April! I am so excited because I am incredibly passionate about healthy relationships. I believe God created marriage in order to mirror our love story with Christ, therefore it’s such a beautiful opportunity to be a light in exemplifying holy love.

It kills me probably more than anything to see a woman in a relationship that isn’t bringing out the best in her or where she is being mistreated. I feel like so many women settle for mediocre relationships because they believe fairytales or epic long-lasting love stories don’t exist. Or they believe they don’t deserve one. But that is entirely untrue. The first thing you ladies need to realize is that God does want to give you a beautiful love story worth writing about, worth talking about and worth inspiring people with. So change your mindset today and thank God for the beautiful love story he has for you and that you more than deserve one…simply because you are His daughter.

Now, first and foremost, you must understand than you can not healthily become someone’s “other half” until you yourself are whole. Many people think that a boyfriend or husband will complete them, making them feel worthy and beautiful. But the fact is, that puts a lot of unrealistic weight on a person’s shoulders, sets you up for disappointment and paves a path for unhealthy co-dependency.

Your worth and value should be defined way before you ever meet a man and there is only one person who gets to define it. Your Maker, who intricately knit you together in your mother’s womb. He strategically and purposefully pieced your personality traits, characteristics and body parts in a perfect design that he called you. Then in his throne room, he looked at his masterpiece and said, “you are all together beautiful, my darling, I see no flaw in you.”

There is power in knowing your immeasurable value when you can see yourself the way God sees you. When you love and respect yourself, it gives you the Godly discernment to decided when you are being treated in such a way that God approves or you are being mistreated. The fact is, you train a man how to treat you in the beginning by what you allow. Knowing your worth enables you to draw healthy boundary lines and to set expectations.

You have to start training your mind to agree and align with the Truth. The truth that you are wonderfully and fearfully made, made in the image of the God of the Universe and all together beautifully flawless.

Tonight, write out an affirmation that resonates for you and let it be the first thing you set your mind and speech on when you wake up in the morning. Speak it out loud over yourself throughout the day and quickly bounce off any thoughts that try to come in and bully you. Embodying your true identity doesn’t happen overnight, it takes soul training and intentionality.

You attract what you are and no one can love you well until you love yourself well. Depend on God’s love to fill you up and complete you, then a man’s love will only make your cup overflow.

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  1. Kristen you are so right on. As I date I find so many ladies that are not ready for a healthy relationship. They have little self respect. They see little value in themselves. As a fairly successful, bit older guy..I can tell you I am looking for an empowered, self assured, healthy woman, both mentally and physically as my future wife..and ladies I suspect I am not alone..I dont want to fill a void, be an answer to issues, be in a codependent relationship.I am looking for my queen for sure, the one Yeshua has picked for me to compete my journey on this globe, that certain daughter of the living God..but that one will know her worth, enjoy a close relationship with her heavenly father and be ready for me to join her on a life journey

  2. Thank you for this. I agree that people tend to put up with relationships that don’t serve them. From my perspective people need to learn to love themselves before they can have a healthy relationship with another person.

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