He was the greatest boy I ever met. Sandy blonde hair. Tall and tan with those perfect dimples where one was just slightly higher than the other. He was everything I thought I needed, so I was determined to make this relationship work. It had to.
I was done fighting the bar scene and he was the perfect solution. He was the Christian knight in shining armor I had been waiting for after so many disappointments. How was I to know where it was going? How was I to know that the road ahead was dangerous? How was I to know that it would all end in tears?
Six months. It was over in six months, although in my mind it was over in three. God never warned me. God never stopped me on the street and said “I have greater plans for you. Run as fast as you can.” He never came to me in a dream to say how it would end.
In the beginning, it was a Hallmark movie in the making. A first kiss during a slow dance in my driveway under the stars on a perfectly clear winter night made me swoon. The Christmas dinner for two at a fancy hotel gave me hope. The presence of God in everything we did sealed the deal.
Then came the beginning of the end. My parents and friends saw it all before me, and looking back I should’ve seen the signs myself. But, I was blind to it all until the night I drove him home after he got too drunk at a party. He grabbed me in the driveway, kissing my neck, and I shoved him away telling him he was a sloppy drunk and our night was over. He pushed me toward my car, called me horrible things, and left me crying the whole way home. The next morning, I apologized. Crazy? Well, this was the man God had planned for me! I had to make it work. I had to deal with his anger and addictions. Maybe God had sent me to save him!
After that, he left me sitting at home alone every weekend. My friends were gone, he was out doing who knows what, and I was in bed crying by 6 o’clock. We finally met up for dinner and I let him dump me. He dumped me with a harsh “I don’t love you, and I’ll never love you.” I stupidly left him with “I tried so hard. What else could I have done? I’ll miss you.”
God gave me so many opportunities to get out, but I was so caught up in making it work that I forgot the most important thing: Love is kind. God gives us true, perfect love every day, and we confuse it with the longing for love.
Never forget that love is kind. God is kind. And the man worthy of your beauty will be the kindest of them all.