I am sitting here on my couch during this nasty, rainy day outside while pondering on so many things. One thing; have you ever thought you knew what the word “strong” means until you’re proven otherwise? Let’s just say that I am raising my hand to that question. It’s often funny how we are so certain that we know ourselves and all the things we are capable of doing until God proves us wrong. Certain obstacles we encounter reveals that we realistically do not; why do you think He challenges us?
Over the course of 3 months; I have been experiencing just how strong I really am when I have no other choice, but to be strong. My boyfriend started his pilot training with USAF by attending Officer school towards the end of March.
This was my first time experiencing what it’s like to be involved with a military guy. Little to say, it was a rude awakening and a BIG eye opener. I applaud the loved ones who have to deal with this too. Since he’s been gone, my eyes have really been opened to how much I depended on him.
I was alone in this big city that I was still adjusting to and only had a handful of friends along with two cats. For some people it’s probably not a challenge at all, however, having a disability makes certain things a little difficult to handle on your own. There were so many emotions I was experiencing and having to figure out certain situations for the first time would just elevate my emotions even more.
Reflecting back on the first week hits me like a storm. I was flying out to Los Angeles alone for first time and I took a different route due to the “direct” flight being oversold. The route I had taken provided one stop before landing in LA and that stop was Salt Lake City. I completely forgot it was Spring Break so when I landed into Salt Lake City, I was shocked to find out I wasn’t making my next flight to Los Angeles. The moment I pulled up my computer to look at the stand by lists for the upcoming flights; my heart literally skipped a beat. The chances of making a flight out of Salt Lake City was very slim.
Flight two came and went then it was flight three, four, and so forth. They just kept coming and going with the plane being completely full. I started freaking out! My computer wasn’t cooperating, my phone wasn’t getting good service, both my hearing aids were dying, and Bryan was unavailable to talk. In the middle of the airport, I started breaking down and just praying to God to help me make one flight.
Can you guess what happened? I made it on a flight FINALLY by a miracle because 20 people didn’t show up! It really was a prayer answered. God taught me a valuable lesson on that day and it was a reminder of how much I was lacking in depending on Him for strength and seeking help.
“We don’t enjoy discipline when we get it. It is painful. But later, after we have learned from it, we will enjoy peace that comes from doing what is right” –Hebrews 12:11
There were many tough obstacles I encountered during the two months Bryan was away, but I was reminded of what I am capable of. Instead of looking at every storm you go through in a negative way; try to have an understanding on what He is trying to teach you. It is never to harm us, but to prepare us with the tools we need so that we are fully capable of being the person He created us to be. We’re designed to explore, discover and grow, not to be held back by fear.
“You have become weak, so make yourselves strong again. Live in the right way so that you will be saved and your weakness will not cause you to be lost” –Hebrews 12:12-13
Coming out of this experience and looking back on my journey of dating a military officer; I have noticed how much stronger I am and more independent. I’ve learned who my true friends are, traveled to a destination alone, discovered other talents of mine, and accomplished a few goals. Needless to say; I was pretty darn proud of myself. My boyfriend even said that I surprised him & proved myself on many levels. He was able to see this whole other side of me. Overall, it’s not the moments that make us strong, but the moments that we have no choice other than to be just that.
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing. But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31-30
Today, I start another journey of my own as Bryan begins his official flight training and will be gone a lot more. Is it sad? Yes. I cry almost every time I have to leave him (I am a big baby). But I know this will be worth it in the end for the both of us. We are able to fully pursue our dreams so that when we do settle down; we will be ready.
I am looking forward to what God will teach me and the many experiences I will encounter on my own with God by my side! Start your day every day with that thought & I can assure you that you will slowly begin to see life will just flow. Because, after all, our broken moment’s don’t define us. It’s how we deal with them that do.
“Don’t let evil defeat you, but defeat evil by doing good” –Romans 12:21