What I Learned From Dating A Military Officer

In Inspiration by Kayla Moore9 Comments

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I am sitting here on my couch during this nasty, rainy day outside while pondering on so many things. One thing; have you ever thought you knew what the word “strong” means until you’re proven otherwise? Let’s just say that I am raising my hand to that question. It’s often funny how we are so certain that we know ourselves and all the things we are capable of doing until God proves us wrong. Certain obstacles we encounter reveals that we realistically do not; why do you think He challenges us?

Over the course of 3 months; I have been experiencing just how strong I really am when I have no other choice, but to be strong. My boyfriend started his pilot training with USAF by attending Officer school towards the end of March.

This was my first time experiencing what it’s like to be involved with a military guy. Little to say, it was a rude awakening and a BIG eye opener. I applaud the loved ones who have to deal with this too. Since he’s been gone, my eyes have really been opened to how much I depended on him.

I was alone in this big city that I was still adjusting to and only had a handful of friends along with two cats. For some people it’s probably not a challenge at all, however, having a disability makes certain things a little difficult to handle on your own. There were so many emotions I was experiencing and having to figure out certain situations for the first time would just elevate my emotions even more.

Reflecting back on the first week hits me like a storm. I was flying out to Los Angeles alone for first time and I took a different route due to the “direct” flight being oversold. The route I had taken provided one stop before landing in LA and that stop was Salt Lake City. I completely forgot it was Spring Break so when I landed into Salt Lake City, I was shocked to find out I wasn’t making my next flight to Los Angeles. The moment I pulled up my computer to look at the stand by lists for the upcoming flights; my heart literally skipped a beat. The chances of making a flight out of Salt Lake City was very slim.

Flight two came and went then it was flight three, four, and so forth. They just kept coming and going with the plane being completely full. I started freaking out! My computer wasn’t cooperating, my phone wasn’t getting good service, both my hearing aids were dying, and Bryan was unavailable to talk. In the middle of the airport, I started breaking down and just praying to God to help me make one flight.

Can you guess what happened? I made it on a flight FINALLY by a miracle because 20 people didn’t show up! It really was a prayer answered. God taught me a valuable lesson on that day and it was a reminder of how much I was lacking in depending on Him for strength and seeking help.

“We don’t enjoy discipline when we get it. It is painful. But later, after we have learned from it, we will enjoy peace that comes from doing what is right” –Hebrews 12:11

There were many tough obstacles I encountered during the two months Bryan was away, but I was reminded of what I am capable of. Instead of looking at every storm you go through in a negative way; try to have an understanding on what He is trying to teach you. It is never to harm us, but to prepare us with the tools we need so that we are fully capable of being the person He created us to be. We’re designed to explore, discover and grow, not to be held back by fear.

“You have become weak, so make yourselves strong again. Live in the right way so that you will be saved and your weakness will not cause you to be lost” –Hebrews 12:12-13

Coming out of this experience and looking back on my journey of dating a military officer; I have noticed how much stronger I am and more independent. I’ve learned who my true friends are, traveled to a destination alone, discovered other talents of mine, and accomplished a few goals. Needless to say; I was pretty darn proud of myself. My boyfriend even said that I surprised him & proved myself on many levels. He was able to see this whole other side of me. Overall, it’s not the moments that make us strong, but the moments that we have no choice other than to be just that.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing. But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31-30

Today, I start another journey of my own as Bryan begins his official flight training and will be gone a lot more. Is it sad? Yes. I cry almost every time I have to leave him (I am a big baby). But I know this will be worth it in the end for the both of us. We are able to fully pursue our dreams so that when we do settle down; we will be ready.

I am looking forward to what God will teach me and the many experiences I will encounter on my own with God by my side! Start your day every day with that thought & I can assure you that you will slowly begin to see life will just flow. Because, after all, our broken moment’s don’t define us. It’s how we deal with them that do.

 

Don’t let evil defeat you, but defeat evil by doing good” –Romans 12:21


Comments

  1. I can’t tell you how much this spoke to me. I am in a very similar situation. My fiancé is joining the marines and is leaving for boot camp in September. I also have a disability. It’s crazy how you think you’re all alone, the only one going through things, and then bam. God shows you exactly what you need to see. Thank you so much for sharing.

    1. Sally,
      I’m so happy to hear & you’re exactly right! It will be really tough,but just be patient with yourself. I had to learn to just stop & take a deep breath then proceed forward. Also,you just never forget that you’re really never alone! Good Luck to your fiancé!

      1. Kayla,
        Yes exactly! Just keep breathing and keep going, I’m constantly telling myself that haha. Awesome advice thank you. Good luck to you and your boyfriend!

        1. Thank you! If you ever need any support or just a pep talk; you can connect with me through my website 😉 Good Luck with you & your Fiancée!

          1. Thank you so much I really really appreciate that. What is your website?

  2. I appreciate hearing about other people’s experiences with military relationships. I’m currently in month 4 of a 10 month deployment and I have days when I don’t know how it’s possible to keep going. But you’re right. The moments when I simply can’t take it anymore are the moments that keep me going. Because I can remember what it feels like to hear his voice over the phone reminding me why I’m doing it. Thank you to Bryan for his service, and thank you for your sacrifice and support for him. We milsos are a tough bunch.

    1. Kari,
      I’m so happy to hear that I could inspire you. I have to applaud you for going through what you’re going through because I haven’t had to experience a deploy that long yet. I can’t imagine the difficulty it must be,but I know it isn’t easy. Just never forget that you’re not alone & God is with you every step of the way through it. He is also with your husband. Lean on Him & allow Him to carry you because He doesn’t expect us to be strong alone,that’s why He is there. Thank you to your husband for his service as well & for your sacrifice 🙂 indeed,we are tough!

  3. I am the daughter of a career military officer and the wife of another, from birth until 50 I was part of the Navy family. This requires another level of strength, confidence and faith; your partner will be gone a lot and when he is home he will be debriefing from the last deployment or training for the next deployment. But you have another source of strength and support on your side.

    The community of military wives and significant others is a powerful source of faith, support and strength. Someone in that group will have experience with just about anything that will come up. Also, the husbands that aren’t deployed are very helpful and supportive, they are leaving next. Draw strength from them, learn from them, find companionship and support from them. They will enrich your life, you will laugh and cry together and soon you will find yourself sharing your knowledge and experience with a new wife.

    I wish all of you the very best on this incredible journey that you are sharing with your loved ones. It is both a shared and separate journey that will enrich your lives. Fair winds and following seas. May God bless you all.

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