When I Prayed For God To Change My Husband

In Wife Life by Raquel Dorsey5 Comments


“In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful, to the master and prepared to do any good work.” – 2 Timothy 4:8

If the saying “cleanliness leads to godliness” is true, I’m in big trouble. I like to say I am a very organized person, and I was when it was just me, myself and I. Since being married I have not been able to create a good operational organizing system and it has left me with an overwhelming feeling of anxiety.

I have so many piles, to add to other piles that need to go into the “file pile” and then the file pile needs more file folders, that I need to buy to put into the filing cabinet that I still need to paint because I want to make it look cute in our office that has all the piles and files. Sigh.

But I got to thinking, why do I have to be the organized one in my marriage? I started to get frustrated with how my husband Andrew, was freely living his life; shoes left in the kitchen and living room, clothes left right next to the dirty clothes basket, used pans left on the stove for hours, every cabinet left open. I was gonna lose it. I started praying that God would change him. I’m sure God was laughing at my request. He knows Andrew has been like this forever. Heck, his mama even gave him the name “Hurricane Andrew”.

But for the man no suitable helper was found. So The Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then The Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and brought her to the man.” – Genesis 2:20-22

God didn’t change Andrew, like I asked. He changed me. And through scripture and prayer, my heart was renewed and my desire to be my husband’s helper was deepened. I knew I was created to make his life easier, to make coming home desirable and stress-free. I am his suitable helper. And it was just my need to have the painted filing cabinet and the “operational organizing system,” not Andrew’s or God’s.

Andrew knows that I love a clean and organized home, so when I’m away for a work trip and he tidies up to the best of his ability or when we are cleaning together, its such a joy to see him doing it, because he knows the helper needs some help too. We have a good thing going now and with the conversation of babies happening, it’s good to know we worked out that kink and will continue doing our part in this 3 strand relationship and God will do his, as He always has.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” – Psalm 51:10

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  1. This made me laugh!!! This is my exact story and a great reminder to keep on being the helper God created me to be. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  2. Loved reading this!
    One thing I asked of Bob, when we got married was “please don’t make me messes”!
    We both work, and I had two jobs, so I I didn’t want to come home, and clean up after him.
    We are both pretty clean & organized people, but sometimes he would leave things for me, because he knew I can’t stand when things are out of place.
    So we sat down and had a talk, about
    Respecting and doing for each other!
    We need to be servants to each other, not make each other crazy!
    So we lovingly tell each other, what we need, and don’t expect the other to know what the other one wants or expects.
    Its a slow & worthwhile process!

    In Christ

    1. Carlene! Thank you so much for reading and sharing your own story. I really loved what you had to say. It’s true, we can’t expect our partner to know what we want, healthy conversations are so important to marriage and our insanity!

      Much love!

  3. I have a Hurricane Jeffery and have recently prayed for God to change him. After reading your blog post, it opened my eyes and heart. I receive in the name of Jesus. Amen

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