A woman doesn’t radiate from the inside out without overcoming adversity or pain. Regardless of whether you were born into a life of wealth and abundance, a middle class family or if you grew up living off food stamps, there are chances for all of us to experience the fear of rejection and failure. The question is; do we allow ourselves to experience the pain of failure? Do we allow ourselves to reach for something our heart desires even when we feel under-qualified, under-prepared or unworthy?
If I had to come up with a theme for my life from the age of 12-21, it would be the word rejection. I had this dream of being Miss USA and I researched everything about the women who held the Miss USA title. I studied their bios, resumes, accomplishments and quotes from interviews. I made lists of short-term and long-term goals for my life so that by the time I was ready to compete, I had developed the character and experience it took to succeed. Having a list of goals from the age of 12 was a good thing, but it also meant that I heard the word “no” a lot.
I competed in 9 pageants before making it to the big stage. Every time I competed, I prepared and refined my resume, talent, styling and interview skills better than before. Every time, I remember standing there waiting to hear the results hoping the judges had chosen me. Each time, I was a runner-up. I was left standing up there, escorted off to the side, watching as the winner had her well-deserved moment of victory. The thoughts that always entered my mind were, “what am I missing, what do they not see? Am I not smart enough or well-spoken enough? Why don’t the judges like me? Am I just meant to be a runner up?
As much I wanted to win every time, there was value in not winning. If I had won on my first attempt or given up when I didn’t win the Strawberry Festival Princess pageant, I wouldn’t have taken the hard, honest look at myself and received the mental breakthroughs that gave me the vision I needed at Miss USA.
Many of us have the dream and feel the magic of our destiny swirling in the core of our being. It’s so alive in us that it’s the one thing that gives us the hope to keep going. When something is that active inside us, we think that it’s going to manifest in our lives quickly. It feels like we are ready to be promoted to that level of greatness. So why does it seem we keep failing time after time?
God will use that fire inside you to motivate you to put yourself out there. It’s almost as if we need to believe the dream is at our fingertips in order to get us to take the risks and leaps of faith. But God works in mysterious ways and He is ultimately in the business of protecting His daughters.
Even in the moments that feel like rejection, it’s usually God’s protection. He wouldn’t allow me to be elevated to the level of competing at Miss USA until I had the resiliency and wisdom to match the task. That could only come through the refinement of failing over and over again.
But what I have come to realize in creating She is More is that failure doesn’t even exist when you have the right perspective. I write articles from my heart and then surrender the results to God and my readers. If an article I am really in love with doesn’t hit or get a lot of views, I don’t take it down or question whether or not I am supposed to write. I just take it as a learning opportunity that the topic didn’t resonate with my readers and it helps me continue understanding what matters to them.
You can’t fail if you perceive every try as an opportunity to grow on the path that leads you to becoming the best version of yourself.
Commit to changing your view on rejection and failure. It’s only the end of the world and your dream if you let it be. Use it to your advantage and start taking leaps of faith. God can do great things with action.
Thank you so much that you have created your daughter for such an amazing purpose that will change people’s lives. God I thank you that your perfect timing is in her best interest. Thank you that when she is rejected by people, you are protecting her in the heavenly realms.
God, I ask that you will reveal to your daughter that she has the mind of Christ and therefore has the power to renew her perspective on failure. Help her to realize that every time she feels overlooked for another opportunity, that you see her clearly. You are holding her in the palm of your hand.
God, I thank you for doing amazing things with our obedience. I pray that you will infuse your daughter with the gift of faith that will lead her to obey your promptings and will diffuse any trace of fear trying to stop her. God, I thank you that you are proud of your daughter, so proud of her even when she doesn’t feel like anyone else is. Help her to feel your pride in her when she questions whether she is enough.
I pray that she will know that she is more than enough and that she will develop the resiliency and wisdom to she needs to come into the fullness of her destiny when the time is right. Amen.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26
“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.” John 14:1
For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity. Proverbs 24:16.
You see that faith was active along with his works, and faith was completed by his works; and the Scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”—and he was called a friend of God. James 2:22-23.
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