5 Ways to Have Confidence No Matter What

In Inspiration by Kristen Dalton Wolfe1 Comment


I’ve been feeling a bit down on myself lately. I realized after I published my devotional, Rise Up Princess that all my little girl dreams had come true. I felt like I had peaked and there wasn’t anything left for me. I started not feeling beautiful or young at castings and felt a bit like an imposter.  I’m in a transition phase that is making me feel a little insecure. Do you ever feel this way?

This weekend, I was able to do some reflecting and reconnecting with God, His plans, His love and His truth.  By the time my plane landed back in Los Angeles, I felt re-charged again and ready to take myself to the highest version of me yet.

Here are the 5 ways God downloaded during my time with Him that helped me remember who I am and why I should be confident regardless of my age, circumstances, outer-beauty and “success.”

1. Don’t Compare to Others

Life is a game and you are in this race against one person alone, yourself. You are the only person in the world with your thumb print, therefore you are the only one who can make an imprint on the world like you can. The same is true for everyone else. You are special, but you aren’t the only one designed to be special or destined for greatness. All of God’s sons and daughters have access to joy and plans to prosper them. So, when you see a frenemy succeeding, it doesn’t serve you or make sense to get jealous, insecure or to have self-doubt.

Stay in your lane and don’t look to the left or right, except for a moment to be inspired. Keep your eyes fixed on God and how pleased He is with you. If you always do your best with a spirit of excellence, it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing. Celebrating others with a confident heart that no one is stealing from you, unlocks you into the freedom to soar higher.

2. Think and Agree with the Truth

It is so easy to agree with the negatives about yourself, your life and your circumstances. The Bible says the enemy prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. This means that the dark voices attacking you from the spiritual realms are literally waiting for a moment to pounce on you to drag you to the ground. Self-doubt is an open invitation for them. But negative voices have no power unless you agree with them. This is why God says to “think on what is pure, lovely, true, excellent and noble.” Phil 4:8. When you are dwelling on such things, you are in agreement with your divine self, the self that connects with God.

First, you need to think on how your Creator sees you. Here are some truths in case you need a quick reminder:

You are wonderfully & fearfully made. Psalm 139:14
You were made in the image of God. Genesis 1:27
You are altogether beautiful, absolutely flawless. Song of Solomon 4:7
You are more precious than rubies. Psalm 31:10
You were born for such a time as this. Esther 4:14

Then focus on what he says about what you have in Him:
God has plans to prosper you, to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
God will supply according to his glorious riches. Phil 4:19
Jesus came to give you life in abundance. John 10:10
God will give you the desires of your heart, make your plans succeed. Psalm 37:4

Today, reset your mind because it dictates what manifests in your life.

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O God.” Psalm 19:14

3. Get Your Approval From One Source

You have already been approved by God. He knew you before you were born. He dreamt up the idea of you in the heavens. If God approves of you, then you must approve you. When you start approving of yourself, you will start to naturally and effortlessly make shifts in your life to reflect a woman with self-respect, self-love and self-confidence. But first, decide you are worth living a life that inspires others and makes you proud. Let go of the need to be accepted and approved by others. When you love yourself and open your heart to received God’s love, approval from the right people with come.

4. Do Things That Make You Come Alive

I tend to live within the rules. I like consistency and routine and am a huge fan of assigned seating. But every time I do something that makes me feel afraid or intimated, I feel so exhilarated afterwards.

I was randomly invited on a ministry trip to Australia a few months ago. I knew that if I went, I would be thrust into situations that made me afraid. They were all things I wanted to do in my life, but I had been holding myself back because of anxiety and a fear of failure.
I decided to go so I could break out of my fears. On the trip, I ended up spontaneously dancing in front of hundreds of people multiple times, I spoke publicly without referring to my notes and I prayed over and encouraged people out loud in front of an audience. I had never felt so alive and on fire in my life. I was stepping into realms I had never tapped into with the trust that God would appear.
The only way to believe in yourself and the limitless abilities infused within you is to take a leap of faith. That’s when God gets to have the most fun, show up and play with you.

5. Be Generous

God has given you gifts. When you share yourself with others, you are giving them a gift. We each have beautiful ways of loving and giving that make us and others light up. According to The Five Love Languages, the two ways I show and receive love are through Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. I also really love gift giving. Therefore, I show love through talking and listening to my family and friends, really connecting with them and making them feel like they are the only person in the room. It makes me feel confident when I make someone else feel important or loved. What better gift could we give away than the ability to show someone else that they are seen, noticed and matter.

Be generous with your love by loving others the way you do best…the love language that makes you feel loved.

Take the 5 Love Languages Test here.

Sometimes, when we get down and depressed, we feel defeated and just give up. But when you start feeling like you are washed up, have made mistakes, that surely God has forgotten about you or that everyone’s lives are so much better than yours, don’t let those feelings kick your butt. Instead, use your sadness as fuel to light a fire under your butt to get up and show yourself that you have what it takes to be exactly who you want to be. If you don’t love you well, no one else will be able to either. Be confident even if you don’t feel confident. Why? Just because Your Maker said you have every right to.

Such confidence we have through Christ before God. 2 Cor. 3:4

 If this message blessed you, be a blessing by sharing with others.

To become confident in your royal identity as His Princess, check out my 60 day devotional journey.


  1. Hi Kristen,

    I love this post so much! It is a great reminder to me and I love that I can read this and know it is true. I should always be confident because I have God as my teammate therefore I will always win!! This does make me think about girls that don’t know this truth and even if they heard it some wouldn’t believe it. I’m 20 years old and have been reading your blog for a year. I have been so inspired and it makes me want to start my own ministry reaching out to girls that don’t know their worth. I would greatly appreciate any advice on how to start 🙂

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