5 Ways To Overcome Envy

In Devotions, Inspiration by Kristen Dalton Wolfe4 Comments


I definitely think envy is one of the most ensnaring sins to live with. It is so easy to fall into envy without even thinking about it, but it has such a poisonous affect on us.  It can literally make us sick, unproductive and unattractive which is probably where the saying, “green with envy” derived.

Jealousy can manifest in a lot a of different ways. Some forms it takes are anger, resentment, gossip and self-hate. With the constant exposure to the good part of people’s lives on social media, it seems almost impossible not to deal with jealousy every day. But the bible calls it a deadly sin for a reason.

James 3:14-16 says: “But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.

This scripture makes you realize that jealousy isn’t a light, surface issue to be easily dismissed. It says that jealousy is demonic and that evil always derives from jealousy.

It doesn’t even matter how successful a person is, everyone can fall into envy. I thought that if I won Miss USA, I would be complete in success,  but I found that it just took me to another level of success that needed to be accomplished.

Jealousy can be a never-ending cycle. Once you get whatever it is you think will make you proud or content, that satisfaction will only last for a short time.

Getting what we want isn’t the remedy to cure jealousy. The remedy happens in our heart. You can pretend like you are confident and content by dawning a smile and congratulating your friends on their blessings, but if your heart is bitter, then you are dying on the inside.

Jesus doesn’t care about how well you fake it. He cares about the content and purity of your heart, and that is where your freedom and joy begins. 

There is nothing more liberating and beautifying than breaking free of envy.

I have struggled a lot with this issue. There were friends in my social network that I would stop my husband from talking about the awesome thing they just accomplished. I didn’t want to hear about it because it made me feel insufficient and that led to me feeling and acting inferior when I was around them in person.

That is absolutely no way to live,  I hated being like that. I wanted to genuinely feel happy for them in my heart. The more time we spend with God and dig deep into what’s going on inside us, the more freedom we have from jealousy.

Here are 5 ways to live without envy so you can be the radiant woman you were made to be:

1. Trust God

Trusting God will pretty much eliminate jealousy from your life. We think God loves someone else more than he loves us when their life looks better or they walk around with a cloud of favor around them. The King has assigned each of us our portion and given us a grace for each gift we have.

We are not all meant to have 1million followers on instagram or to marry a rich athlete or be a movie star. Some people have a grace on their life to get more attention or notoriety in their respective field and it isn’t up to us to decide if they are deserving of it or not.

“Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines haven fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” Psalm 16:5

God is good and He has His reasons for the lot he has assigned you and they are all good. Decide to trust He has your best interest at heart.

2. Take Ownership of Your Life

Envy can prompt us to say, “That is something I really want, why don’t I have it?” Envy can reveal that we haven’t taken action on something we want, probably out of fear. When we see someone else produce an idea that we had or go on a vacation we have been dreaming of, our feeling of envy could be the result of being mad at ourselves for not taking action. Instead of doing something about it, we spend our time criticizing them and blaming God.

Being inactive in the dreams God has put on your heart doesn’t allow God to breathe on your activity. Once I started doing what God was telling me to do, I gave him the chance to bless my work and show me his favor. Even if the conditions aren’t perfect yet, start being active and taking ownership of your life so God can show you his blessings.

3. Have The Right Idea of What Success Is

Everyone has a different story, a different calling and a different way of getting there. Success is showing up every day and doing the best you can. Success is operating within your anointing, being consistent and trusting the results to God. Even though society measures success through competition and numbers, that isn’t how it’s measured in the heavenly realms, which is where it matters.

4. Her Success Is Not Your Failure

This was a huge one for me. When I first moved to LA, my richter scale of success in my career was based on the accomplishments of other Miss USA’s. I’ve gotten over that now, but even in blogging I’ve had a competitive spirit with other bloggers in the same christian inspiration space. I know, it’s hilariously ironic. I’m writing about peace and trust while getting threatened by the success of another blog, author or speaker.

Considering someone else’s success to be our failure is an indication that our ambition has been momentarily tainted. The bible talks about not having selfish ambition, which in a lot of cases means we have been distracted with ulterior motives, rather than just being obedient to God’s call on our life. Get excited when other people succeed because they are a testimony to how good God is and there can never be enough of that.

5. Be Grateful

I really do believe that when we take time to notice all the ways God has blessed us, we wouldn’t have room to be jealous. I am a competitive, results-driven dreamer so I constantly set new goals and want more and bigger and better. Dreaming big is fine, God is the biggest dreamer and wants to co-create with us. Wanting more is only fine when you are totally content where you already are.

A content heart allows you to operate out of peace and purity. Not only is it beneficial to be thankful for your blessings, but also for the goodness other people are experiencing.

Make a list every day of all the gifts in your life God has blessed you with and focus on what He is doing, instead of what you’re lacking.

Get excited for what God is doing in other peoples’ lives because that puts your focus on how awesome He is. You are a daughter of God and the enemy will use jealousy to poison you, so don’t feed it with mean, bitter thoughts. Take every thought captive that isn’t of God and turn it into a loving, positive power thought.

+ Thankfulness – Jealousy = The Sparkle Effect. 


Dear Father, 

You know my heart so well. I can’t hide from you that I deal with feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. Sometimes, I feel like you have overlooked me and continue to bless the same people with more all the time. When is it my turn? When do I get my break? But you are sovereign and true. Please forgive me for being mad at you, I know you love me. I trust you and I will decide to trust you even when I am in a season of lack. God, please help me not to look at my friends and covet what they have. Please open up a well of new found gratitude within me, you have blessed me so abundantly. Father, help me to discern where I need to take action and where I need to surrender. I want to be content and be genuinely happy for others. Thank you for the work you are doing in me right now in Jesus name. Amen

Wonder Words:

James 3:14-16, Proverbs 14:30, Proverbs 27:4, 1 Corinthians 3:3, Exodus 20:17, Galatians 6:4, Ecclesiastes 4:4,

If this message blessed you, leave a comment & be a blessing by sharing with others.


  1. this was just what i needed! i have struggled with jealousy lately and if feels unconformable, it made me fell hallow and unsatisfied after thinking those negative jealous thoughts. they do not make you feel better, i just felt ugly. i knew i had to change my ways before i said something i would regret. this reading has helped me put into prospective what i was doing wrong and helped me ask god for forgiveness.

  2. Praise be to God, as a young Christian woman I knew it was wrong to almost break my neck from constantly scanning my school campus to see if I could measure up to the next best thing and if I felt I couldn’t, I would blame God for “favouring someone with a pretty face,long hair,nice body, great friends…Got all day?” I now remember how loved I am and blessed I have been by God in so many ways and that our levels of sucess and all the other things we as women on earth compete in don’t measure Gods love for us. Thank you

  3. I just read this, but it came at a perfect time when I saw something that one of my dear friends that I don’t talk to anymore is doing amazing things without me and I felt sick… Thank you!

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