Self-image. I believe our “self-image” is our biggest enemy. It determines how we feel and live our life on a day to day basis. In addition, it is probably one of the very things that is such a big issue in our society today; especially for women. Women feel pressured to live up to the image of these beautiful thin models in magazines or that gorgeous celebrity they admire. It’s worse in the modeling and acting industry where cameras will literally add 10 pounds to you, determining the light and angle (it even drives me nuts). How we feel about our self-image leads to the energy our self-esteem will put off and we have to remember that because it affects how people feel when they are around us.
One of my close friends quickly reminded me how important it is to think before you act. She further said, “Remember that you have the power to control how you should react to individuals.” She is right. We have the power to choose and create our image in which the world will see every time we step out into it. It will test you in every way it can, it will try to break you, and it will even celebrate you at times.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrong doer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.” Colossians 3:23-25
I feel the biggest mistake we make is living life for others instead of for ourselves. We see this visual image of how the world defines beautiful, confident, or sexy and it isn’t reality. YOU define what’s beautiful, confident, and sexy within your own image. Break out of that habit. Your self-esteem is a measure of how worthy you think you are. Don’t look outward for affirmations. Set your own expectations of who you should be and then do all you can to live up to those expectations. You have it in you to be the person you can be proud of. And you owe it to yourself. If people don’t like you for who you are then that’s okay! There are plenty of people that will love you for who you are and you won’t have to change a thing.
I read this an article and felt like these were great exercises to help boost your self esteem! I’ve been following these for quite some time and it has helped me tremendously.
Be authentic. Drop pretenses just to please someone else.
Learn to say no. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Grant yourself the permission to make mistakes. Vow to learn from them.
Take responsibility for your actions.
Immerse yourself in whatever you decide to do. Quit worrying about your choices and how others will feel about them.
Remember, every person you meet in life is facing a battle of his or her own that you don’t know about. It may seem like that person may have the perfect life or family, but I promise you that there is no such thing.
I used to care so much about proving to society that I don’t have any flaws or make mistakes. I would always go above and beyond doing for others and anything I could that would help them because in reality, I really do love helping others. I hardly ever spoke my mind either; just always soft spoken and kept my issues to myself. However, as I grew older, I learned that it did nothing but allow others to take advantage of me by having no respect for myself. It was like I had no voice. The quicker I realized that; I took a change of course. Today, I am not afraid to show the world who I really am or speak my mind.
I have learned that I am better with a handful of friends than a ton who aren’t my true friends. I am not afraid to admit who I really am.
“Walk in wisdom toward the outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Colossians 4:5-6
Don’t carry around this fragile image; it’s noticeable. Women should be applauding their friends who gain success; why are we not? We are so fortunate to live in a country where we have the opportunity to do so. I can’t tell you how excited I get when I see my friends gaining success for their hard work because it isn’t easy.
Tearing another down only reveals how fragile you are. You’re showing others that you’re incapable of handling competition or that you aren’t deserving of a good opportunity. Don’t be that individual that is incapable of standing tall beside a successful person. It will make your life a lonely and difficult journey.
Not everything in life is a competition.
God brought certain people into your life to do two things; to be a blessing or to teach you a lesson. Allow each person to have the chance to make that difference in your life because either way; you will learn something from them. Whether it hurts or brings you love, you will gain something valuable from them that you will carry with you through life. I have always believed that everything happens for a good reason. We are all on this journey called “life” and fighting to get to our goals. So, why is one greater than the other?
“and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you, so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.” 1 Thessalonians 3:12
If you feel the tendency to throw rocks at someone who is gaining success in accomplishing their dreams; ask yourself this question, “What am I gaining by doing this”? I believe your answer will be quite simple. Believe it or not, it isn’t a race. No matter how hard you run or how many rocks you throw; nothing will change the outcome of tomorrow. Why not take that feeling & and turn into fuel for motivation to keep working hard for your dream? If God can do it for them then who is to say it can’t be done for you?
Every season on earth has its time; your time will come for you to shine. In the meantime, be a cheerleader for others.
If you are meant to be with that person you love; it will happen. If that friend is meant to be your friend for life; it will happen. Everything will happen whether you think it will or not because God is unstoppable and He has already gone before you.
You don’t have to risk losing yourself to gain what it is that you’re chasing after. Stop chasing it. Let it come to you. Focus on taking action on what you can control and allow Him to guide you through the rest. Never forget who you are. Never forget the woman you were designed to be. That woman you admired and saw yourself leaving footprints on the world.
With God, you’re fearless and invincible. Walk tall and confidently in the direction of your dreams. He will take care of the rest.
“For the shields of the earth belong to God; He is greatly exalted” –Psalm 47:9
It’s so easy to get scared and crave the things that the world has to offer. God is the only one who can give full contentment to you. Don’t give your soul away to something that is temporary. It isn’t worthy of it.
“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.” ~Iyanla Vanzant